Journal of Feminist Studies in Religion

This poem, "Hagar's Prayer," is about how easy it is to lose privilege by falling out of favor, by seeing other women as the enemy, or by aging out of employment or attractiveness. It is both a warning to other women not to forget to take care of themselves and a prayer for help. The poem uses the Jewish liturgical structure of prayer, a holy conversation in which only one side is heard, with an opening address to the one or One (the peticha), and a closing plea and summation to the same that seals the prayer (the chatimah).

Blessed One-nessBreathing Existence,

I once was Sarah:Rich,Loved,Able to laugh at everything,Even God,Especially God.I had a place, a home, a mission.

But now I'm Hagar:Broke,Alone,About to cry at everything,Even God.Especially God.Wandering, in the desert, hungry. [End Page 89]

This is my fault.I should have seen this comingI should have protected myself,I refused to accurately assess my situation.Oh, the fantasies I had of love and success.

No! This is Sarah's fault,She, with her connectionsAnd her covenantAnd no room for anyone else.

Oh, the promises she made when she needed me.No, this is Abraham's fault!He pretends to have no agencyBut he's the one with the money and the power,He's the one who talks to God (or so he says).Oh, the bullshit he slings about destiny.

All I have now is a cat named IshmaelAnd he expects to be fedAnd watered.Meow Meow, he's starving.I can't look at him,Oh, I can't watch him die.All I can do is pray.

Blessed One-nessBreathing Existence,Send me a social workerOr food stampsOr a lotto ticketOr friendsOr a magical flowing spring of plenty that pours out from the rocks.

Or something.Amen. [End Page 90]