November 17, I860.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

Miss Minerva Skinlington. (log.) “ La/ my Dear—kmc d'e do ? and so You’ve taken a Lesson out of my Book at
last, and got a Classical Hat as well as Myself. Upon my word, We should really make re Capital Pair to Run
together in a Curricle.”

DISTINGUQ.

Our histrionic contem-
porary, the Bra, says that
in making a brief compli-
mentary speech to the Dor-
setshire Volunteers, Lord
Shaftesbury thought fit
to introduce the most sacred
of Names no fewer than
seven times. “ Our army
swore terribly in Flanders,”
quoth the Reverend Mr.
Sterne’s hero, “but. I
never heard anything like
that.” However,

That’s in a Bishop-maker pious
talk

That in a Worldling were pro-
fanity.”

A Regular Fix.

That mysterious gentle-
man, Klotz-Roussel, is in
a bad way with his project
of a Volunteer’s Excursion
to Paris. Scouted by the
Volunteers, pooh-poohed by
t he press, disclaimed by the
Conmander-in-Ckiep and
the Secretary at War—
whose sanction to hisproject
he has impudently and
mendaciously claimed—the
case of Klotz seems t**
come under the Leadenhall
market heading of “ Clots
and Stickings.”

THE LORD MAYOR’S BANQUET.

{By our Special Reporter.)

Lord Mayor’s Day was duly kept on the 9th, and none of its
ridiculous features were omitted. An unusual number of pickpockets
were in full occupation during tbe morning, plundering people who
were silly enough to stand and stare at the most imbecile Show con-
ceivable. Some Volunteers were kind enough to come, chivalrously,
to the rescue of the effete old exhibition, and, by marching between
the Bumbles and tbe Gobblefats, to try to infuse some spirit into the
display. But the Mayor is a Fishmonger, and tbe scaliness of the
whole business showed his attachment to his Company. His Lordship
has appropriately selected the Ordinary of Newgate as his Chaplain,
an appointment which testifies to the Lord Mayor’s conviction that
the mummery is moribund.

Guildhall was done up in the usual flaring way, and gas was turned
on regardless of expense, which extravagance the City can well afford,
considering its plunder out of the Coal Duties. The Gobblefats came
early to the dinner, and secured good places. The Swells, of course,
came later, and some of them were shouted at, in accordance with the
ordinary rudeness of Civic people. Dinner having been devoured,
speecbilication set in with much severity. After the Loyal Toasts had
been “got over,” as the Citizens disrespectfully put it.

The Lord Mayor proposed the Army, Navy, and Volunteers.

General Peel said that he had nothing to do with any of those
departments of the Service, and had been a member of the late
Ministry, and was not in this one. He could not imagine what the Lord
Mayor was thinking of in calling npon him, but supposed there was
some blunder. However, as he was up, be might as well return thanks
for the toast, and congratulate the sleek Citizens upon having three
such services to defend their bales and puncheons.

The Duke of Somerset said that perhaps General Peel would at
all events be good enough to hold his torigue about the Navy, which
was his, the Duke’s, business. He should like to hear anybody say the
Navy was not all right, and he begged to return thanks.

The Lord Mayor gave the Ex-Lord Mayor.

Alderman Carter said that he had tried to do his best. One of
bis little boys had told him that there was a fable about Hercules and
the Carter, and that it meant that we were to put our shoulders to the
wheel. He had put his lips to the weal at dinner, and very good weal
't was, but that was not the question now. He, Alderman Carter,

had pulled out of the way with his cart, and hoped the new Mayor
would go a-head.

The Lord Mayor gave the Foreign Ministers.

Count Persigny in reply said,

Milord Maire, et Messieurs.—II est un grand bore d’avoir de venir
et manger avec vous epiciers, et d’avoir un mal de tete avec votre
maudite gas, mais e’est, necessaire quand le diable est le Jehu. Mon dieu,
qu’elles soDt laides, les citoyennes, et leur toilettes, ah, bah, poof!
Messieurs, je suis charme de vous dire que mon auguste Souverain,
L’Emtereur, n’ a pas une seule idde d’invasion, a present, tout le
contraire, et vous pouvez dormir confortablement, dansvos lits. C’est
vrai. Messieurs, et j’ajouteraiqu’il n’est pas un sot, et sait parfaitement
bien sur quel cote son pain est beurre. Eb, Messieurs, vous n’ etes
pas des Solomons, mais vous avez compris que mon maitre et votre
ami le bon Cobden ont sous-signe nne Traite (derivatur de Trahison),
et par cette Traite, Messieurs, vous etes vot you call him—dun. Bien,
mes chers amis, pourquoi combatter avec ceuxqui se donnent, franche-
ment, et avec humilite, d’etre depouilles. ttestez tranquillement,
mes braves, et croyez que nous sommes raisonables. Milord Maire,
agreez, &c.

The next toast was the Lord Chancellor.

Lord Campbell said that one didn’t come to tbe City for wit but
for wittles, and he bad bad a very good dinner, for which he was much
obliged. He bad been reviewed by George the Third, and also
by tiie Quarterly, but he did not see how that concerned the present
audience.

The Lord Mayor then gave Lord Palmerston and the Queen’s
Ministers.

Lord Palmerston (who was loudly cheered, especially by Lord
John Russell). My Lord Mayor, Ladies and Gentlemen. It is an
uncommonly jolly thing to come and eat these dinners sometimes,
though I don’t mean to say for a moment that I should like to do it
often. Some great writer, Terence or Tupper, I forget which, has
observed that out of the conversation of the unwise the truly wise can
gather wisdom, and there is something to be learned sometimes from
Aldermen. We learn, for instance, what to eat, drink, and avoid; that
is to say, to eat their turtle, to drink their wine, and to avoid them-
selves. {Cheers and laughter.) I was greatly pleased with M. de Per-
signy’s speech, as I am sure my noble friend the Poreign Secretary
will be when one of bis young gentlemen translates it to him. I am
rejoiced that we have been and done it in China, and as citizens you
will understand me when I say that it is Lombard Street tc a China

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