Opinion may be divided on whether electro-convulsive therapy can cause permanent amnesia, but for Anne Watkinson there are no doubts – she lost two years of very important memories. She describes her experience of this controversial therapy and how, with the help of her family, she is learning to fill in the gaps

Last year, after a particularly bad bout of depression, I reluctantly agreed to a course of electro-convulsive therapy (ECT). As a former mental health nursing student and a user of mental health services I was used to doing a little background study into any medicines or therapies that I was offered. This time, however, possibly because I was so unwell, I did very little research into the treatment being offered to me. Looking back at why I agreed to have ECT so willingly, it might have been due to, as Riordan et al (1993) suggested: ‘a high level of trust or resigned lethargy, in part reflecting mental state, but also a feeling of lack of involvement in one’s own management.’ It might also have been due to the haste with which the treatment was started. There seemed only a couple of days between my psychiatrist suggesting I have the treatment and being given ECT.