This thesis applies self-narrative method to explore the meaning of a special education professional’s life meaning. It is a journey of re-finding my self. When I looked back my life, I realized I have gone through different stages of transitions and development: From departing from my family-of-origin, graduated from schools, getting married, entering working field and starting my career as a special education helping professional. These experiences have given me the opportunity to examine how my career was intertwined by my fears of authority figures. The death of my father lead to my internal insecurities, they influenced in my career. I used to look both of my fears and the loss of my beloved father as negative effects. However, through writing my own story, I gradually came to realize the cause of not being able to be assertive to express my real feelings and changed my memories of my father as a positive and optimistic impact in my current career. In addition, I realized I always got a strong desire to help others, for example, I could be brave and unhesitatingly with sympathetic mind to step forward to help students who were in need. Above all, I believe that I now gain tranquility, security and also increase my self-acceptance due to my working experiences and life searching process. My career in special education helped me experience the transformation from the state of being self-negative to being assertive. By sharing my story through writing, it has also helped me accept myself as an imperfect person, knowing that the importance of self-awareness and realize how limited I am. Furthermore, I also learn that when I strive for my own survival, I must also give others leeway. Furthermore, I learn that that we cannot change everything but we can change our mind to perceive things in different perspective. So, I have changed my attitude to face and deal with my past painful memories when they rush back into my mind. In conclusion, what I have learned from my work and students is to let go of the past and embrace the future so that I can keep going on in life.