Culture and Sexual Self-Disclosure in Intimate Relationships

Sexual self-disclosure is one of the most intimate forms of self-disclosure. Yet, there is surprisingly little research on this topic compared to the voluminous research that exists on self-disclosure (in general). This is particularly surprising since sexual self-disclosure has been found to be correlated with sexual and marital satisfaction (Byers & Demmons, 2010). Conversations about sex have also been found to be critical in preventing HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, expressing sexual consent, and sexual desires and satisfaction (Faulkner & Lannutti, 2010). Nor have scholars investigated the impact of culture on people’s willingness to engage in sexual self-disclosure. In this paper, we will review current theorizing as to the extent to which culture and gender might be expected to influence young people’s willingness to sexually self-disclose, and suggest possible directions that future research might take.


Introduction
Do people generally reveal their sexual attitudes, feelings, and behaviors to their lovers? If so, how much are they willing to reveal about themselves? What topics are easily discussed, which taboo? How important are such revelations to a relationship? Recently researchers have begun to provide a few of the answers to such questions (Byers & Demmons, 2010;Snell, Belk, Papini, & Clark, 1989). Therapists and sexologists have discovered that discussing one's sexual preferences is advantageous to relationships (e.g. Masters & Johnson, 1976), increasing sexual satisfaction and reducing sexual problems (LoPiccolo & LoPiccolo, 1978;Metts & Cupach, 1989;Russell, Preferences", which is comprised of six items, including such statements as: "I let my partner know what I do not like in sex" or "I let my partner know what feels good to me in sex". Chiou and Wan (2006) devised a scale called the Sexual Self-Disclosure Scale for Taiwanese Adolescents (SSST).
Subjects rated their frequency of sexual self-disclosure for each sexual topic in both cyberspace and real life.
These include such items (in Chinese) as "my doubt on the sexual aspect" and "my view towards adult video." The breadth and depth of Taiwanese adolescents' sexual self-disclosure in cyberspace and real life are measured on a 6-point scale, ranging from "very likely" to "least likely." For a complete list of existing scales, see Table 1. Table 1 Measures of Sexual Self-Disclosure

Sample items Authors Name of Scale
Byers & Demmons, 2010 Sexual Self-Disclosure Scale • "How much have you told your partner about the way(s) you like to be touched sexually?" Herold & Way, 1988 Sexual Self-Disclosure Scale • "My personal views on sexual morality." • "Sexual problems or difficulties I might have." Snell et al., 1989 Sexual Self-Disclosure Scale (SSDS) • "How satisfied I feel about the sexual aspects of my life." • "The types of sexual behaviors I've engaged in." Snell et al., 1989 Revised Sexual Self-Disclosure Scale (SSDS-R) • "My private beliefs about sexual responsibility." • "The sensations that are sexually exciting to me."

Cultural Theories
Culture may be defined as: "the totality of equivalent and complementary learned meanings maintained by a human population, or by an identifiable segment of a population, and transmitted from one generation to the next" (Rohner, 1994, pp. 119-120, as cited in Smith, Bond, & Kağıtçıbaşı, 2006. Cultural differences may emerge from different historical, political, and environmental backgrounds. Although cultural diversity is ubiquitous, most cross-cultural research has been conducted among East Asians and North Americans. Researchers have tried to map a variety of countries on an array of cultural dimensions in order to delineate their differences. Hofstede's (1980) paradigm is one of the most widely used mapping strategies. He mapped over 40 counties on five cultural dimensions, namely: power differences, individualism-collectivism, uncertainty avoidance, feminine-masculine, and long term orientation.
Although there are some controversies, cultural researchers have generally regarded the individualism-collectivism dimension as "the one deemed to capture the essence of the East-West dichotomy" (Hogg & Vaughan, 2005, p. 347). In Hofstede's (1980) multinational study, the U.S. ranked first in individualism while China (including Hong Kong) ranked 37 th . In an individualistic society, where individual goals are emphasized over group goals, people tend to be more concerned as to how their personal goals, interests, and needs will be achieved by their own behaviors (Hui & Triandis, 1986;Triandis, 1986;Triandis, Brislin, & Hui, 1988). Thus, we might expect people in individualistic societies to readily state their preferences in hopes of achieving their personal goals. In contrast, citizens in a collective society tend to place more emphasis on the interests and goals of the group than on their own individual goals (Ting-Toomey, 1988). Individuals' needs and characteristics are not so important and thus they are not encouraged to disclose their personal goals to others. Markus and Kitayama (1991) developed the concepts of independent self and interdependent self to describe different self-concepts among people in various cultures. For example, North Americans and Europeans, who live in individualistic cultures, often possess an independent self-concept, while Chinese, Japanese, and Latinos, who live in collectivist societies, are assumed to possess an interdependent self-concept. People from individualistic cultures are generally found to be more likely to emphasize their uniqueness, while people from collectivistic cultures tend to refrain from disclosing disagreement in order to maintain group harmony.
Culture also affects people's communication styles. Gudykunst and colleagues (1988) found that people in individualistic versus collectivist societies engage in low-context and high-context communication, respectively. In America (an individualistic and low context society), people are expected to speak their minds and tell the truth, which is "characteristic of a sincere and honest person" (Grice, 1975;Hofstede, 1991). Low-context communication

Sexuality in American Culture
American culture emerged from European origins. In Medieval Europe, passion was generally denounced by political and religious authorities (Hatfield & Rapson, 2005). For 1000 years, the Catholic Church preached that, even when couples were married, sex was a mortal sin if engaged in for any purpose other than procreation.
Classical stories of lovers who broke the rules (e.g. Dido and Aeneas) generally ended tragically. Early theologians, such as St. Thomas Aquinas, asserted that sexual pleasure is always sinful; the single acceptable sexual position in the service of procreation was "man-on-top", which mirrored the demands of patriarchy and evinced little concern for female pleasure. To all this, add fear of pregnancy and death in childbirth, and the picture for women as regards the sexual pleasures grows grimmer.
Masturbation was considered unhealthy and abnormal. Gender inequalities in sexuality were pervasive. Men generally held the power in all aspects of life, including sexuality. Women, who possessed even lower legal status than horses, were, by and large, treated as sexual objects or vehicles for childbirth. In the high Renaissance, which dates approximately from 1400 to 1500, artists began to resist the Church's view that sex is ugly and evil.
Instead, humanist artists began to treat sex as a natural desire and an expression of the love of life. Sex slowly began to be seen as noble. It was not only spiritual, but also indicative of the unification of body and soul (Zhou, 2005).
In the period from 1500 to 1800, the Western world began to challenge Christian values and commenced the epochal shift toward the individualistic, egalitarian, and permissive attitudes towards sexuality that are more common today (Coontz, 1988;Dabhoiwala, 2012;D'Emilio & Freedman, 1997;Hatfield & Rapson, 2005;Mason, 1994;Smith, 1998). Not until well into the 20 th century was birth control commonly employed to limit pregnancy-a development that greatly liberated the sexuality of couples, granting them the possibility to enjoy sex with less worry and guilt.
The steady trend towards sexual liberation grew during the 1960s, when some leaders of the women's movement ignited a celebration of sexual freedom. People since then have possessed more open sexual attitudes, and therefore are also more likely to engage in sexual activities than during previous times. From the 1960s to the 1980s, a growing majority of people in the developed world began to consider sex to be a source of excitement, joy, and an expression of love.
Since the 1980s, however, the fear of sexually transmitted infections such as Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS) and sexual transmitted infections (STIs) has motivated many young people to make more conservative choices regarding sexual activities. Nevertheless, it is highly unlikely that North Americans, Europeans, and others will ever go back to the kinds of repression that people accepted in the Middle Ages (Hatfield & Rapson, 2005).
History is not linear, but the long-term tendency towards acceptance of sexual pleasure for women as well as men would seem very difficult to reverse.

Sexuality in Chinese Culture
Sexuality in China evolved from quite different origins than did sexuality in America. In ancient China, the family was not a social institution comprised of independent men and women, but of kin groups. This special social structure and family unity restricted people's development in individuality and freedom. Sex was not considered a basic need, but existed merely as a means to gain social acceptance. Sexual activities that fit with existing social requirements were considered lawful; otherwise, they were viewed as treason and heresy (Liu, 1993).
For the first 4,000 years of Chinese history, a Yin-Yang philosophy fostered positive and open attitudes towards human sexuality. Men were characterized as "Yang", strong and active; women were characterized as "Yin", yielding and passive. Sexual intercourse was intended to strengthen the man, as he benefited from absorbing some of the woman's Yin essence. It was believed that men ought to change sexual partners with some frequency in order to nurture themselves.
Considerable changes have occurred in the last 1000 years-starting in the Song Dynasty (960-1279 A.D.)-when the Neo-Confucianists gained political and religious power. Much more repressive policies towards sexuality were adopted. Within the family, men and women living in the same household could not sit together, could not hang clothes on the same shelf, could not use the same handkerchief and comb, and could not pass things hand-tohand (Liu, 1993), let alone enjoy sexual pleasure together.
Since then, through the Ming (1368-1644 A.D.) and Qing dynasties, chastity was greatly rewarded and the literature contained the notion that "there are 10,000 evils, and sexuality is the first one". During Mao's Cultural Revolution from 1966 to 1976, people were encouraged to sacrifice personal pleasure in order to achieve collective success.
During that time, sexual intercourse typically lasted only for a few minutes and ended with men's ejaculation.
Women's sexual pleasure was almost always neglected; female orgasm was rare. (See Hatfield & Rapson, 2005, for a summary of this research).
Since the late 1970s, when China announced an "Open-Door" policy to the outside world and instituted economic reforms, there have been dramatic changes in the lives of the Chinese people. China began a rush toward modernization. "Westernization" of China has been described as: The worship of individualism, the proliferation of pornographic films and videotapes; changing attitudes in marriages and sexual behaviors; greater individual freedoms and choices; greater tolerance toward sexual activities; and an increasingly egalitarian relationship between men and women (Bullough & Ruan, 1994, pp. 383-391;Pan, 1994).
Chinese citizens can now view lovers hugging, kissing, and even having sex on TV. All these changes have promoted more open attitudes towards sex. Many Chinese college students now engage in premarital sex. In a recent study, it was found that 40% of Chinese college students approved of premarital sex "when they have fallen in love", while 35% supported the act "if both sides want it" (Pan, 1995). Nowadays, Chinese people typically hold more open and positive attitudes towards sex than in previous decades, but its citizens are still not as open as Westerners (Hatfield & Rapson, 2005;Tang, Bensman, & Hatfield, 2012).

Differences in Sexuality Between America and China
In assessing whether a society possesses liberal or conservative sexual norms, Simpson and Gangestad (1991) proposed a concept named "Sociosexuality". This concept has become a popular way to measure individuals' mating strategies. People who score low in sociosexuality are said to possess a restricted sociosexual orientation.
Such people practice monogamy, court longer, and make heavy emotional investments in a relationship (Gangestad & Simpson, 1990;Penke & Asendorpf, 2008;Simpson & Gangestad, 1991). Schmitt (2005) found that Chinese (from Hong Kong) possessed a restricted orientation. In China, sex is usually not talked about publicly since such conversation is considered "inappropriate" and "indecent" in the traditional Chinese cultural ideology. Words like "sex" and "sexual behaviors" are almost taboo in the Chinese language and are usually put together with negative words like "indiscretion" or "crime". We can call this kind of society a sexually conservative society. On the contrary, people who are high in sociosexuality possess an unrestricted sociosexual orientation. Such people are more sexually liberal, have sex at an earlier age, have more sex partners, make a weaker emotional investment in a relationship, and prefer less intimacy in a relationship (Gangestad & Simpson, 1990;Penke & Asendorpf, 2008;Simpson and Gangestad, 1991). Americans are more typical of an unrestricted sociosexual orientation (Schmitt, 2005). In America, since the sexual liberation movement in the 1960s, discussions of sexuality are acceptable (or even frequent) in daily conversations and in the media. We can call this kind of society a sexually liberal society. Schmitt (2005) found Americans receive higher sociosexuality scores than do the Chinese (from Hong Kong).
Thus it is conceivable to argue that people who live in sexually liberal societies like America may well engage in more sexual self-disclosure than do people who live in sexuality conservative countries.
By comparing studies conducted in America and China, it is clear that (1)  Chinese couples tend to start dating when they are much older and are less likely to develop sexual relationships with their dates than are their American counterparts. Thornton (1990) also found that roughly 90% of American men and 88% of American women began dating by the age of 16 and 63% of American men and 54% of women had developed sexual relationships by this time. However, only 27.1% of American men and 37.9% of American women planned to marry their current partners. Thus, Americans appear to be more motivated by a desire to satisfy sexual needs and less worried about commitment issues than are their Chinese peers. On the other hand, the Chinese, who value chastity, appear to be more concerned about relationship maintenance than the pleasure of sex. A study conducted in Anhui province in China by Ji (1990) found that 98% of the 500 Chinese men they interviewed reported that they wanted their bride to be a virgin at their wedding. Similar results were secured by Tang and her colleagues (2012).

General Self-Disclosure Versus Sexual Self-Disclosure
In this paper, we are primarily concerned with sexual self-disclosure. We mention self-disclosure (in general) only when we are contrasting the two forms of disclosure.

General Self-Disclosure
The concept of self-disclosure has been well explored during the past 30 years. This is not surprising. Self-disclosure constitutes a large part of human communication-30% to 40% of everyday speech is designed to communicate information about one's own personal relationships and experiences (Dunbar, Marriot, & Duncan, 1997). Selfdisclosure appears to be indispensible in establishing intimacy and is an indicator of intimacy in interpersonal relations (Altman & Taylor, 1973;Jourard, 1971;Pearce & Sharp, 1973). Self-disclosure is also a type of ability, which precedes a satisfying relationship (Derlega & Margulis, 1982). Self-disclosure about one's personal back- ground and feelings is positively correlated with the success of friendship, dating, and marital relationships (Hendrick, 1981;Hendrick, Hendrick, & Adler, 1988).
In the past, researchers have generally used Jourard and Lasakow's (1958) Self-Disclosure Scale as the operational definition of self-disclosure. This scale, however, includes only four questions related to sexual self-disclosure.
(These questions ask about sexual morality, one's sex life, sexual attraction, and sexual behavior). Yet, researchers generally agree that sex is among the most important factors affecting satisfaction in a romantic relationship (Sprecher, 1998;Wincze & Carey, 2001). It has also found that in America sexual satisfaction strongly and positively correlates with relationship satisfaction (Byers, Demmons, & Lawrence, 1998;Byers, 2005;Purnine & Carey, 1997). This relationship also exists in China (Renaud, Byers, & Pan, 1997). We would contend that factors such as love, trust, and commitment, as well as the extent of sexual self-disclosure, should be given more attention, when attempting to understand the development of intimate relationships.
The most widely used theory to delineate the relationship between self-disclosure and intimacy is Social Penetration Theory (Altman & Taylor, 1973). Social penetration theory suggests that interactive partners are more likely to communicate and disclose intimate information when an interpersonal relationship is in the process of becoming more intimate. Social penetration to more intimate levels in a relationship is based upon the reward-cost ratio of interpersonal exchanges (Thibaut & Kelley, 1959, as cited in Wheeless, Wheeless, & Baus, 1984. When rewards exceed costs in a relationship, individuals will be motivated to disclose their attitudes, feelings, and behaviors to their partners, and if things go well, a relationship will become more intimate. When the costs of a relationship exceed the rewards, on the other hand, individuals will cease to disclose and as a consequence the relationship will become less intimate. Recent research (Tamir & Mitchell, 2012) found that disclosing information about oneself is a rewarding experience.
It activates the same sensation of pleasure in the brain regions as we get from receiving money, eating food, or having sex. Thus, under the right conditions, people should be willing to self-disclose and develop intimate relationships. It seems logical to suggest that sexual self-disclosure might also be a pleasurable experience. Later we will discuss the fact that sexual self-disclosure and sexual satisfaction have been found to be correlated (Byers & Demmons, 2010).

Sexual Self-Disclosure
As we observed earlier, researchers differ in their definitions of sexual self-disclosure. In this review, we defined sexual self-disclosure as the "degree to which a member of a romantic dyad discloses his or her sexual thoughts, feelings, and behavior to his or her partner".
Differences Between General Self-Disclosure and Sexual Self-Disclosure.
Sexual self-disclosure possesses some unique attributes. It is an especially intimate form of communication. Research conducted on sexual self-disclosure found its antecedents and consequences are not always identical with those of self-disclosure in general. For example, Wheeless and colleagues (1984) found that different stages of development of intimate relationships among college students could be discriminated by general communication is reasonable to speculate that the powerful might feel more confident about expressing themselves, and thus to get the things they desire in intimate relationships. Only subsequent research can show whether or not this is so.

Sexual Self-Disclosure and Sexual Satisfaction
Researchers have demonstrated that sexual self-disclosure between intimate partners, in committed or long-term relationships, is associated with sexual satisfaction (Byers & Demmons, 2010;MacNeil & Byers, 1997, 2009Rehman et al., 2011). Cupach and Metts (1991) suggested that disclosing one's sexual likes and dislikes can serve as a tool for informing one's partner of one's preferences, and thereby enable one to obtain more of what one wants (and less of what one does not want) from one's partner, thus increasing sexual satisfaction.
MacNeil and  found that in long-term heterosexual relationships, both non-sexual communication However, Byers and Demmons (2010) found that people who self-disclose more sexually (of their sexual likes and dislikes) tend to have a more positive appraisal of their sexual communication. Also, they found that sexual self-disclosure has a unique association with sexual satisfaction when nonsexual communication is controlled.
Thus they infer that sexual self-disclosure may play a specific role in increasing individuals' sexual communication satisfaction. However, according to their findings, sexual self-disclosure does not correlate with relationship satisfaction or sexual satisfaction when general self-disclosure is controlled. This indicates sexual self-disclosure may not make the unique contribution to relationship satisfaction or to sexual satisfaction that theorists have proposed.
They speculate that daters may expect more sexual disclosure as they value being open with their partners. But they expect partial disclosure (instead of full disclosure) to be most effective since there are negative consequences of too much disclosure (Hatfield, 1984). Thus, couples should be more satisfied with partial disclosure.
Communication researchers also find sexual communication is correlated with sexual satisfaction. Cupach and Comstock (1990) found that satisfaction with sexual communication, sexual satisfaction, and relationship satisfaction are all positively correlated. Sexual communication satisfaction is a common criterion for assessing the quality of communication (Spitzberg, & Cupach, 1984). In Cupach and Comstock's (1990) study, the authors assessed the relationship between sexual communication satisfaction and sexual satisfaction, but did not assess the relationship between sexual communication and sexual satisfaction directly. So far, nearly all of these studies have been correlational. Thus experimental research demonstrating a casual relationship between sexual self-disclosure and sexual satisfaction is needed.

Factors Related to Restriction of Sexual Self-Disclosure
Sometimes people are unwilling to reveal their sexual attitudes, feelings, and behaviors. People may well refrain from self-disclosure because of the negative consequences that self-disclosure or intimacy may bring. Hatfield viduality. Given these fears, it is easy to imagine why people may not want to disclose their innermost secrets (Paul et. al., 2000, crafted a scale designed to assess these matters.). For a more recent discussion of some of the problems men and women anticipate and experience when they discuss their sex lives with intimates see Faulkner and Lannutti (2010). Hatfield also suggested several ways to encourage intimacy, which implicitly suggest possible techniques for encouraging sexual self-disclosure.

1.
Encourage people to accept themselves as they are.

2.
Encourage people to recognize their intimates for what they are.

3.
Encourage people to express themselves.
There are also cultural reasons why people refrain from sexual self-disclosure. Researchers find that in developing countries, verbal communication about reproductive health or sex is uncommon. This is a consequence of gender inequalities and different sexual standards for men and women (Gupta & Weiss, 1993). For example, researchers report that Vietnamese couples find it is difficult to talk about sex for its own sake (Ha, 2008). The Chinese also possess less permissive views toward dating and sexuality. Tang and Zuo's (2000) cross-cultural study found that Chinese college students generally possess less open-minded attitudes toward dating, date less frequently, tend to date at an later age, and are less likely to have sex in their encounters than do their American counterparts.
Thus, people in cultures in which more conservative norms regarding sexuality are held are less likely to discuss their own sexuality freely. Otherwise they may be seen as promiscuous or dirty.

Future Directions
Given the evidence that culture has an impact on self-disclosure, it seems logical to propose that there should also be cultural differences in people's sexual self-disclosure. In the wave of globalization, cultural differences may be diminishing but they have not completely disappeared. Here (based on the preceding discussion) we offer several hypotheses for future researchers to consider.
Hypothesis 1: American men and women will engage in more sexual self-disclosure than do Chinese men and women.
Hypothesis 2: In both China and America, men will engage in more sexual self-disclosure than do women.
Hypothesis 3: Culture and gender will interact in shaping sexual self-disclosure.
Hypothesis 4: In both America and China, men and women who possess more interdependent self-construals will engage in less sexual self-disclosure, while people who possess more independent self-construals will engage in more sexual self-disclosure.

Hypothesis 5:
The longer a person is in a relationship, the more sexual self-disclosure he or she will engage in.
Hypothesis 6: Culture and type of measure (general self-disclosure versus sexual self-disclosure) will interact in predicting degree of self-disclosure. We expect only weak cultural differences between Chinese and Americans when looking at general self-disclosure; we expect far stronger cultural differences when examining sexual selfdisclosure. Hypothesis 7: Within American and Chinese cultures, people who are primed with more liberal sexual norms will engage in more sexual self-disclosure than will people who are primed with more sexuality conservative social norms.
Hypothesis 8: Within American and Chinese cultures, people who have lower sociosexuality scores will engage in less sexual self-disclosure than will people with higher sociosexuality scores.
In sum, the relationship of culture and sexual self-disclosure is a research topic well worth exploring. Currently, several American psychologists have devised scales to measure sexual self-disclosure and they have used them to conduct research on sexual and general self-disclosure. Alas, in other cultures, comparable scale development and sexual self-disclosure has been almost totally neglected. People living in different cultures are socialized differently. Cultural norms sustain their sexual attitudes and beliefs. These attitudes and beliefs shape their attitudes, feelings, and behaviors-including their tendency to sexually self-disclosure or to inhibit such disclosure. Past researchers have demonstrated that sexual self-disclosure is positively associated with sexual and marital satisfaction (Byers & Demmons, 2010). Thus, understanding people's sexual self-disclosure in various cultures may well provide us with more insight into sexuality of citizens in different counties, and may lead to finding of ways to increase sexual enjoyment in different cultures.