New wheels

Well, it finally happened, as Queen once sang. But I am not going “slightly mad” as the song professes. Instead, I have decided that the time has come where I need a wheelchair to get around. My arthritic hip damage is substantial and painful – and it’s stopping me going places. I rarely want to go out anywhere “for a walk” because the pain is so great. A wheelchair will help with this.

But there are some things about it that bother me. Well-meaning people in the disability community take great offense when wheelchairs are used to symbolise disability, when they see them as enabling tools. It’s clear that using phrases such as “wheelchair-bound”, when the wheelchair is what gives mobility, can be offensive.

At the same time, for someone who has had a lifetime of full mobility, it does feel like a loss to need a wheelchair and I do feel as though I am grieving for my former un-impaired life. To deny this subjective experience would be wrong. For sure, it’s not the wheelchair’s fault. But accepting the chair implies a change and more inconvenience, even while it may help with my life. The chair symbolises what I have lost.

That said, I am working on ways to get over this psychological hurdle. One of the ways is to find cool/good role models who use wheelchairs. Professor X from The X-Men seems quite a good one – particularly as I can cosplay Patrick Stewart with my bald head and British accent. Davros from Doctor Who might be another one… although slightly more genocidal than I usually opt for.

The other thing that I hope/think I will get from the chair is to build some upper body strength. Self-propelling is hard work, I have been told! So I am treating this as an opportunity to get back to exercising, even if I can’t now do my much loved bike sessions.

New wheels, a new chapter. Onwards.