Parents-Children Communication: Islamic Approach

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Avaliable at: www.ijssers.org worshipping Allah (ibadah), but also covering the family communication matters. Nurturing children according to the Islamic values in the sophisticated era and environment can somehow be challenging for both; parents assume that the technological devices have reduced the time to communicate with children while children perceive devices offer much of entertainment and avenues to interact with. Thus, this has imposed great limitations on the family communication which was meant to serve the very basic platform to disseminate Islamic values to the next generation (Junaid, 2018).

METHODOLOGY
Methodologically, this writing adopts Library Research, whereby the researcher collect data through appropriate and sufficient references related to the research theme/concepts, both from journals and previous research. This study frames a qualitative design whereby the related Qur'anic verses were then examined in relation to the discussion of Islamic communication as the core values under study.

ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVES ON FAMILY COMMUNICATION
The foundation of the ummah or Muslim society is built through the family institution. The requirements and obligations for being part of the ummah including communal prayer, fasting, charity, pilgrimage and others to create a common identity that sets Muslim apart from other nonbelievers. It is necessary for Muslim parents to learn and practice the techniques of effective Islamic parenting. In order to be effective in raising the children according to the Islamic teachings, the understanding about the law of Allah is very essential. It is suggested that these skills should be incorporated into the innermost of individual's consciousness until they become a natural part of individual's unique style of interpersonal communication and interaction between parents and their children (Izzah Nur Aida Zur Raffar, Salasiah Hanin Hamjah, Ahmad Dzaky, Nang Naemah, 2018) There are several verses in the Holy Qur'an as well as in the Hadith emphasized on the parents' responsibilities for the care and upbringing of their children. For example: O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from the fire whose fuel is people and stones… (Al-Tahrem 66:6). This command of Allah is again re-emphasized by Sa"eed bin el-"Aas, who was the Apostle of Allah said: "No father gave a better gift to his children than good manners and good character." (Ibn Majah). Azizi Yahaya, Shahrin Hashim, and Mohd Anuar, (2003) assert that the approach any parents employ with their children will be imitated by them as part of inter-personal communication skills. It is worth to mention that the environment where the children are brought up is definitely significant to have influence on their later years' behaviours. Islam is a religion that inculcates strong faith by practicing religious teaching and eventually nurture encouraging moral conducts. This is well-affiliated with the mission of Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) to bring into existence a perfect human behaviour as epitomized by him in his lifetime (al-Qalam: 4) to be exemplified by other human being (al-'Ahzāb: 21).
Sidek and Jamiah (2016) suggest that it is essential for parents to establish positive moral conduct to be then exemplified by their children -children will model their parents' actions and decisions and this is important for them to set good examples for respective family members. Al-Ghazali wrote in his book: God says: Those who are patience will be given rewards without measure. Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) once said that 'The most perfect believer in faith is one who is the best of them in good conduct'. This message of Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) signify important values Muslims must possess and practice as good conducts complete half of the religions and reflects high quality of God-fearing men (piety or taqwa) Family communication in Islam does not highlight only on individualistic sphere, but also societal realms. The essence of Islamic communication also lies in the concept that place every communicator aware of the existence of Allah as the sole creator of the world and aware of social function of communication at large by embedding both Holy Qur'an and Hadith of Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) tradition as primary sources. In this context, Islam provides great emphasis on the importance of possessing good mannerism (akhlaq), which is indeed crucial in communication; this element is not being given crucial attention among western communication scholars (Mowlana, 2007 Forbearing" (2: 235). The parents play very significant role to educate children to use good and meaningful words while interacting with others, not only with their parents; use good words and avoid bad words will develop positive personality of the children and eventually will teach them how to be a responsible person through their own words and actions.
3. Qaulan Baligha -In the Holy Qur'an (4:63), Allah says "those men,-(Allah) knows what is in their hearts; so keep clear of them, but admonish them, and speak to them a word to reach their very souls". Qaulan baligha is interpreted as a fluent and effective speech or the right, where the meaning is clear, bright, and reveals exactly what the sender of message wants (Siti Rohimah, Fitriah, & Sri Lestari, 2020). The concept of qaulan baligha also means the word conveyed by adjusting the abilities of the communicator with the one communicated (ibid); for instance, in a situation whereby parents are giving advices to their children, the parents must have the ability to use the language that suits the level of intelligence and maturity of such children for the messages to be understood in a more effective and understandable manner. Similarly, as a husband is giving advice or consulting his wife, he must also use the language that she can understand, remember his words and touch her soul.
4. Qaulan Maysura -In the Holy Qur'an (17:28), Allah says "But if you must turn them down ˹because you lack the means to give˺-while hoping to receive your Lord's bounty-then ˹at least˺ give them a kind word". Qaulan maysura means an easy word. This concept in communication make others or recipient of messages feel easy, and comfortable as the communicator utter their words with soft tone of voice, gentle, and carry some substance of optimism in the words. Suud, F. M., et al. 2019 assert that along the communication process, the words are not only pleasant to ears but also easy to understand and encourage people to put some positive hopes for the messages shared. It is also important to apply this concept while communicating with others so that we will not make anyone feel offended, but at the same time able to attract others attention and gain empathy towards us. As the parents and children are interacting with one another, they must ensure each other's' understanding of the messages and recognize that different age of children would require different style of communication language.  (Khaidir, et., al., 2020). suggest that the children will learn how to express their emotions in rationale way and manage their feelings better. Ultimately, the children will grow up as a person who are not only intelligent in communicating with others, but are excellent in managing stress, anger, and other discomfort feelings (Khan, Arshad, & Khan, 2018).

Qaulan Layyina
6. Qaulan Karima -(QS Al-Isra: 23)12 Qaulan karima means noble word. A noble word is a word which gives respect and honor to the person who we talk to. "Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age In Thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor". (QS. Al-Isra: 23) In this case, to say "ah" to parents is prohibited by religion, moreover say the words or treated them more harshly than thatany word that has bad taste, disgusting, and harsh sound, but to use words that are delivered with respect, not offending, and glorifying. Communicate in noble language to all family and relatives, and it is very appropriate for parents or parents-in-law, or to other people who have entered old age (Islami, 2017). This concept is important particularly when communicating with parents, elderly or respectable people.