Parenting Styles of Fishermen and Female Migrant Workers (TKW) Families in Instilling Religious Characters for the Children’s

This study aims to determine the types of parenting for the families of fishermen and Female Migrant Workers (TKW) as well as the driving and inhibiting factors in the formation of religious character in children. This research is a field research using a qualitative approach. The data in this study were obtained through interviews, observation, and documentation. The results of this study indicate that: First, the parenting styles used by several mothers in fishermen families are authoritarian, militaristic, democratic, purposeful, and paternalistic. The parenting styles used by fathers in TKW families are role-transfer, laissez-faire, transactional, and affiliation. Second, there are several driving and inhibiting factors in the formation of religious character in children. These factors are the structure of the physical environment, social environment, educational environment, psychological atmosphere in the family, socio-culture in the family, and parental control of their children. The success of these factors is influenced by parent’s attention. Parents who care about their children tend to have success in all elements of environmental structures. On the other hand, parents who are indifferent to their families tend to fail in all elements of structures.


A. Introduction
The Indonesian nation is currently faced with the problem of moral decay that has occurred among its young generation.There is a lot of evidence that shows that this moral decay is done by children who are still in school, such as cheating, truancy, drugs, promiscuity, and brawls between students.In this case, there needs to be provisioning from an early age to control children's behavior to minimize delinquency in the future.The most important party in this matter is family.
The first education a child gets is education from the family.A good family education has a great potential to produce a qualified generation that will provide a positive impact on the society. 1 According to Jalaluddin, family is the first field of education and the educators are his own parents. 2 Parents (father and mother) are natural educators whom Allah has mandated to nurture, supervise, and guide their children, as Imam al-Ghazali, a Persian Muslim philosopher and theologian said: ‫والديه‬ ‫عند‬ ‫أمانة‬ ‫الغزالى‬ ‫اإلمام‬ ‫قال‬ ‫كما‬ ‫والطفل‬ ‫خالية‬ ‫نفيسة‬ ‫جوهرة‬ ‫الطاهر‬ ‫وقلبه‬ ‫نقش‬ ‫كل‬ ‫من‬ ‫واألخرة‬ ‫الدنيا‬ ‫فى‬ ‫وسعد‬ ‫عليه‬ ‫نشأ‬ ‫وعلمه‬ ‫الخير‬ ‫عود‬ ‫فإن‬ ‫وصورة‬ ‫ابواه‬ ‫ثوابو‬ ‫فى‬ ‫وشاركه‬ 3 "A child is a mandate or a gift from Allah to both mother and father.The child's heart is still clean, like a precious jewel, devoid of all kinds of paintings and images.When the child is accustomed to good things, taught to him good things, the child will grow up to be a good human being and will find happiness in this world and the hereafter.Both parents also get rewarded too." Parents (father and mother) have the same responsibility in caring for children.
The responsibility of a mother is as great as a father.Rasul SAW. has said: ‫ومسؤولة‬ ‫زوجها‬ ‫بيت‬ ‫فى‬ ‫راعية‬ ‫والمرأة‬ ‫رعيته‬ ‫عن‬ ‫ومسؤول‬ ‫أهله‬ ‫فى‬ ‫راع‬ ‫والرجل‬ ‫البخارى‬ ‫(رواه‬ ‫رعيتها‬ ‫عن‬ ‫ومسلم)‬ 4 "A man is a shepherd (leader) in his family and he is responsible for that shepherding.And a woman is a shepherd (leader) in her husband's house and she is responsible for shepherding (whatever she leads)."

Nailul Ghufron Aziz
Islamic Review: Jurnal Riset dan Kajian Keislaman 211 Thus, it is clear that the role of parents can no longer be ignored in family education.Education is the process of humanization.5A harmonious family education from father and mother will help children achieve their development.
Therefore, a father and mother need to determine the right family parenting style as a guide in educating their children.In Indonesian, parenting styles consists of three words, namely the pattern, foster and family.According to a Large Indonesian Dictionary (KBBI), Pattern means a fixed style, model, system, work method, form (structure). 6 Meanwhile, the word foster includes all aspects related to maintenance, care, support, and assistance so that people can stand and live their lives in a healthy manner.7While the definition of family is as follows: ‫بيته‬ ‫وأهل‬ ‫الرجل‬ ‫عشيرة‬ ‫واألسرة:‬

8
Family: someone's relatives, residents of his house.
‫الرجل‬ ‫أهل‬ ‫واألسرة:‬ ‫مشترك‬ ‫أمر‬ ‫يربطها‬ ‫والجماعة‬ ‫وعشيرته،‬ 9 Family: residents of a person's house, their relatives and groups with whom they have a cooperative relationship From this explanation, it can be understood that parenting style means the habits of parents (father and mother) in leading, caring for, and guiding children in the family.That the family has a role in educating, teaching knowledge, and evaluating every attitude and behavior of elementary school students as long as he was in the scope of the family, school, and community. 10Parenting style to create a generation that is aware of moral values is inseparable from religious signs.Islam in this case has provided limits on human behavior in all aspects, both from the social, cultural, economic, and moral aspects that have been regulated by Allah in his holy word which is then used as a guide for human life.As has been confirmed by Allah SWT. in his words Sura Al-Jasiyyah verse 20 which reads: Translation: "These are clear evidences to men and a Guidance and Mercy to those of assured Faith (Sura Al-Jatsiyyah verse: 20)"11 so that the cultivation of religious character is very necessary to achieve a good personality of the children.
Thomas Lickona argues that character contains three main elements, namely knowing the good, desiring the good, and acting the good. 12aracter education is the process of providing guidance to children or students to become fully human beings who have character in the dimensions of heart, mind, body, taste and intention. 13Meanwhile, the root word of 'religious' is a religion which comes from a foreign language religion as a form of a noun which means religion or belief in the existence of something natural power above humans."Religious connected with religion or with a particular religion".14So, religious character is a strong attitude in embracing and carrying out religious teachings and as a reflection of his obedience to the teachings of his religion.
But what happens when the role of one parent (father or mother) is neglected.
As happened in the family of fishermen in the village of Bendar Juwana Pati and the families of female migrant workers (TKW) in Sundoluhur Kayen Pati.In general, the fishermen of Bendar Juwana Pati are large fishermen (modern fishermen) who work to catch fish using purse seine (in Indonesian = pukat cincin), long bag set net (in Indonesian = pukat labuh), and bottom long line (in Indonesian = rawai dasar).They go and return home uncertainly for months spending the night at sea with their shipmates.A father who works as a fisherman rarely meets his children because of his busy life at sea.They can come together as a whole family for only a few days.The same is felt by the families of TKW in Sundoluhur Kayen Pati.In general, the female migrant workers (TKW) of Sundoluhur Kayen Pati work in Taiwan, Korea, Singapore, and Hong Kong.They go and return home for uncertain time, togetherness as a whole family of course does not happen.This makes the environment less conducive to build character for children.
The problem that will be revealed in this research is how is the parenting style

B. Method
This study used a qualitative approach which aimed to describe and analyze the phenomena, events, social activities, attitudes, beliefs, perception, people's thoughts individually or in groups 15 , where data which is presented not in the form of numbers but in the form of words and representation 16 , so that the results of the research are in the form of descriptions and interpretations.The population in this study were the families of the fishermen in Bendar Village and the families of TKW Kayen Village.Determination of data sources in this study was carried out using snowball sampling.Snowball sampling is a technique of taking data sources, which at 15 Nana Syaodih Sukmadinata, Metode Penelitian Pendidikan, Bandung: Remaja Rosdakarya, 2010, 60-61. 16Burhan Bungin, Metodologi Penelitian: Format-Format Kuantitatif dan Kualitatif, Surabaya: Airlangga University Press, 2005, 103.Vol.IX No. 2 Tahun 2020 first are small, in number, over time they become larger. 17The data in this study were obtained through interviews, observation, and documentation.This research is a qualitative research, so that the data analysis is in the form of data reduction, data display, and conclusion drawing and verification.

C. Results and Discussion
Based on the results of the data that the researcher obtained about the parenting style of the families of fishermen and female migrant workers (TKW) in instilling religious character in children, it is stated that each family has different parenting styles and driving and inhibiting factors in instilling religious character in children.This can be seen from the results of interviews with the families of fishermen in Bendar Village and TKW from Kayen Village with the following explanation:

The Parenting Style of Fishermen and Female Migrant Workers Families
There are several types of parenting that is applied by the fishermen families in Bendar Village.The types of parenting include authoritarian, militaristic, democratic, purposeful, and paternalistic.a. Authoritarian parenting One of the parents who applies authoritarian parenting in instilling a religious character in their children is Mrs. Ning Tias Warastuti (Mrs.Tutik).
He has two daughters named Ane and Trevi.The responsibility for educating children is fully delegated to Bu Tutik.This is because her husband goes sailing and is rarely home.Parents with this authoritarian type tend to be controllers, always impose their will on their children, are not open to children's opinions, find it difficult to accept suggestions and tend to impose their will on differences, too trusting in themselves so that they close the discussion. 18is is reflected in the results of the interview with Mrs. Tutik that she manages everything related to her children, especially in terms of fulfilling his obligations as a Muslim.In everyday life, Mrs. Tutik has rules that Ane and Trevi must obey.If these rules are violated by them, then Mrs. Tutik will punish Ane in the form of confiscating her favorite bicycle for one week and confiscating her motorbike for one week as punishment for Trevi.

b. Militaristic parenting
One of the parents who applies militaristic parenting in instilling a religious character in their children is Mrs. Hj.Endang Setyorini (Mrs.Rini).
She and her husband handle the responsibility of educating children.Because it happened that her husband had not gone sailing.He has children named Rida, Dina, and Krishna.This militaristic type of parent likes to rule.Without much dialogue, the children must obey their orders.It cannot be denied, must obey the orders and prohibitions.In certain circumstances, there is a threat, in a dangerous situation, this type is very appropriate to be used to move a child, because the child must quickly make the right decisions for his safety. 19is is shown from the results of the interview with her.She explained that her children always obeyed the rules and orders of her and her husband.
Her children never violated the rules she applied, so she and her husband didn't need to punish them.In addition, they are always polite and gentle with their parents.Punishment is only given when they fight, whoever starts the fight will be punished.The results of the interview conducted by the researcher with Mrs.
Muth stated that she still gave rules to her children, at least rules regarding time discipline.Even so, she still gave freedom to his children to develop their potential as long as this did not violate religious norms.As for if they violated, Bu Muth did not immediately punish them.She only reminded and admonished them so that the mistakes that happened did not happen again.

d. Purposeful parenting
One of the parents who applies the pattern of purposeful parenting in instilling a religious character in their children is Mrs. Anik Widarti (Mrs.Anik).Mrs. Anik and Mr. Wagiyo have three children, namely Cindy, Yongky, and Amira.Mr. Wagiyo, who works as a fisherman, makes him rarely at home, so that the responsibility for educating children is entirely delegated to Mrs. Anik.In educating children, Mrs. Anik applies the pattern of purposeful parenting, namely if she wants to move her child to do something, then there is a reward for her services in material form.So, because they want to get a fee, the child is motivated to do something that is ordered by his parents.This type of parenting is called purposeful (in Indonesian = pamrih) (in Sundanese = gentong ngumes), because every work done has a material value. 21e results of the interview proved that Mrs. Anik's children were very difficult to control or command, such as orders to study, pray in congregation, go to the TPQ for reciting Qur'an, and get up early to pray at dawn.These orders will be carried out by her children when she has given a reward such as an additional allowance.

e. Paternalistic parenting
Parents with this paternalistic type act as fathers to their children in the form of educating, caring for, teaching, guiding, and advising.This type of parenting is called paternalistic because the parenting used is paternally. 22The character of the child formed from education in a family without a father is an independent child, not spoiled, and obedient. 23rents who apply this parenting style in instilling a religious character in their children are all mothers from Bendar Village, Juwana District, Pati Regency whose husbands work as large fishermen or modern fishermen.So because the father is busy at sea for a long time, so that he rarely meets his child, the one who is tasked with educating, caring for, teaching, guiding, and advising the child in their daily life is the mother.The mother uses the influence of fatherhood to move the child towards the desired goal, although sometimes the approach taken is sentimental (easily influenced by feelings).
Similar to the families of fishermen, the families of TKW also have The laissez faire parenting is not based on rules, freedom of choice is open to children with little parental interference so that the freedom given is controlled.If there is no control from parents, then the child's behavior is uncontrollable, unorganized, and apathetic, because the child feels he does not have the goals and objectives to be achieved.Communication from parents tends to act as a connector that links the contribution of thoughts from family 25  The results of the interview indicated that his two children tended to disobey his orders.This is due to the lack of intensive control from parents to children.Besides Mrs. Mustaqimah who works as a TKW, he also admits that he has not been able to give examples to his children directly.The main reason is because he works as a farmer who has to be in the fields all day long, so he has very limited time to keep the children.

c. Transaction parenting
This type of transaction parenting always makes an agreement (transaction), between the parent and the child to make an agreement of every action that is taken.Parents want their children to comply in the form of carrying out the agreed agreement.There are certain sanctions imposed on children, if at any time the child violates the agreement. 26One parent who applies transaction parenting in instilling a religious character in his child is Mr. Rustam Santiko.Mr. Rustam Santiko and Mrs. Hefi Kristiana only have one daughter, Naura Arsyafatur Rahma (Naura) class XI at SMA Rifaiyah Sundoluhur.
out for the sharpness of the analysis for the sake of theoretical and practical guidance. 28Based on the results of interviews and observations that the researcher has done, the families of fishermen and TKW have the same driving and inhibiting factors in instilling religious character in children.The factors are: a.The structure of the physical environment The home environment which is decorated with Islamic identities such as calligraphy, prayer places, and the location of the house close to the mosque or musola can motivate family members to more active in carrying out worship.This was exemplified in the families of Mrs. Rini, Mrs. Muth, Mrs. Tutik, Mr. Kusnadi, and Mr. Solikin where an Islamic atmosphere was created in their houses.
On the other hand, a house that does not create an Islamic atmosphere, does not have a place of worship, is located far from the mosque or musola and far from the TPQ will make family members feel discouraged to worship, besides that the children are also not motivated to go to the TPQ for reciting Qur'an.This condition is reflected in the families of Mrs. Anik, Mr. Zainudin, and Mr. Rustam.
b.The structure of the social environment Good interaction within the family will foster a sense of mutual understanding.In this case, parental figures are needed in everyday life.Good interactions that exist in a family can create mutual respect, so that they can help parents in shaping the religious character of their children.As has been implemented in the family of Mrs. Rini, Mrs. Muth, Mrs. Tutik, Mr. Kusnadi, and Mr. Solikin who are always there when the child is in need.Even if they have limited time, they will try to spend that quality time hanging out with their families.Apart from that, the social environment also influences the inculcation of religious character.A religious environment can facilitate the formation of religious character in children.Meanwhile, an environment that is not religious, even an environment with a population that often deviates from religious norms, will inhibit efforts to form a religious character in children.
On the other hand, the absence of interaction between family members because each other's busyness will make the meeting feel awkward and strange.As a result, the messages and rules from the parents will be difficult to convey.This is what will inhibit the formation of religious character in children.This condition is experienced by the families of Mrs. Anik, Mr.
Zainudin, and Mr. Rustam.It is very difficult for them to determine the time to gather with the family, so that there are only a few meetings between family members.

c. The structure of the educational environment
The educational environment in an organized family will help to form religious characters.For example, teaching children how to pray and read and write Qur'an from an early age.This will make it easier for children to deepen their religious knowledge when they are adults.On the other hand, children who are not familiar with the religion knowledge since childhood will find it very difficult to start learning religion from start when they reach adulthood.
In addition, school mates also influence the formation of religious character.
A good friend will bring the child to a good personality, on the other hand, a bad friend will bring the child to a bad personality as well.This is because a child will easily imitate the behavior of their peers.Like what Shaykh Az-Zarnuji has said in his poem: ‫ييقتدي‬ ‫بالمقارن‬ ‫القرين‬ ‫فان‬ # ....

29
Which means that "in an association, the follow-up behavior often occurs."d.The structure of the psychological atmosphere in the family The psychological atmosphere of the family that can create attachment, intimacy, and high emotional ties will foster a high sense of empathy and sympathy, so that the process of forming the moralization of attachment can occur well.This process is the process of establishing good emotional bonds in family relationships.This makes a child realize that he has a moral obligation, namely a sense of empathy and sympathy to obey all the rules and orders of the parents.On the other hand, the failed attachment moralization process will result in the child having a rebellious, selfish, and angry personality.
e.The structure of the socio-cultural in the family Daily habits with Islamic nuances, such as time discipline in carrying out worship will help to form religious character properly.This is because children are accustomed to carrying out religious activities in daily life, so that these habits will turn into a necessity.On the other hand, Islamic culture that has never been applied in everyday life will be difficult if done immediately.
As a result, the child feels that he has been dictated when performing worship.He did not feel that it was a habit, especially a necessity, and even felt that it was an order to burden them.

D. Conclusion
The results of this study indicate that: First, the parenting styles used by several mothers in fishermen families are authoritarian, militaristic, democratic, purposeful, and paternalistic.The parenting styles used by fathers in TKW families are roletransfer, laissez-faire, transaction, and affiliation.Second, there are several driving and inhibiting factors in the formation of religious character in children.These factors are the structure of the physical environment, social environment, educational of the families of fishermen in Bendar Juwana Pati and TKW in Sundoluhur Kayen Pati in instilling religious character in children and what are the driving and inhibiting factors of the parenting style of the families of fishermen in Bendar Juwana and TKW Sundoluhur Kayen in instilling religious character in children?The purpose of this study was to determine the parenting style and the factors inhibiting and encouraging the families of fishermen in Bendar Juwana Pati and the families of TKW in Sundoluhur Kayen Pati in instilling religious character in children.So far, there have been many studies that examine character education.However, this research focuses on the parenting style of the families of fishermen in Bendar Juwana Pati and TKW in Sundoluhur Kayen Pati in instilling religious character in children, so this research is deemed necessary.
c. Democratic parenting Parents who apply democratic parenting in instilling a religious character in their children, namely Mrs. Muthmainnah (Mrs.Muth).He has three children named Naya, Qila, and Vano.Parents with this democratic type always prioritize common interests over individual children's interests.This type of democratic parenting expects children to share responsibilities, be able to develop their leadership potential, tolerate when children make mistakes and provide education to children so they don't make mistakes by not reducing the creativity of the child's initiative. 209Bahri Djamarah, Pola Asuh Orang Tua…, 67.  20  hri Djamarah, Pola Asuh Orang Tua…, 61.
different parenting styles for each family.The parenting styles are: a. Role-transfer parenting This type of role-transferring model delegates the authority and responsibility of parents to children.This parenting style is used by parents to provide opportunities for children to carry out certain tasks and roles.Parents only facilitate and help when the solution to the problem is not found by the children.Although they are not given detailed instructions on what to do, the responsibility and decision-making process is largely left to the children. 24One of the parents who adopted the role-transferring parenting style in instilling a religious character in their children, namely Mr. Kusnadi.Mr. Kusnadi and Mrs. Istianah have two children named Ghifari and Ghazali, both of whom are schooled at the Islamic boarding school.Directly, the responsibility of parents in educating their children at home is completely transferred to the boarding caregiver.b.Laissez Faire parenting Vol.IX No. 2 Tahun 2020 Parent who practices parenting laissez faire in instilling a religious character in his children is Mr. Muh.Zainudin.Mr. Muh.Zainudin and Mrs. Mustaqimah have one daughter Maihun Rizqina (Maihun) class X of SMA Rifaiyah Sundoluhur and one son named Wildan Dwika Mahendra (Wildan) class VI of MI Miftahul Muhtadin Sundoluhur.
f. Parent control Direct parental control will be more helpful in cultivating character.Like what Mr. H.Darmanto and Mrs. Rini's family has done, they both closely monitor their children's activities, so that all their children's activities are well controlled.On the other hand, parental controls that are only carried out periodically and indirectly can inhibit the formation of religious character in children.Like what happened to Mr. Zainudin's family where both parents are busy with their work, so that the children's behavior cannot be controlled properly.