Anya’s Posttraumatic Growth Over Her Loss Trauma as Reflected in Natassa’s Critical Eleven

It has been commonly assumed that trauma only lead to a negative impact on its survivors. However, on another hand, trauma can bring positive changes. This situation is commonly said as post-traumatic growth (PTG). The PTG process takes a quite long time and each survivor has different capabilities and processes to achieve it. Anya, the main character in the novel of Critical Eleven, experiences the trauma of loss after her first baby dies. Since her baby left, Anya has been in a dark period. This research aims to determine the type of loss trauma experienced by Anya. As a trauma survivor, Anya's post-traumatic growth was also explained in this research. Two theories were utilized in this research. Freud's theory of mourning and melancholia was used to analyze the type of loss trauma that Anya experienced. Meanwhile, the post-traumatic growth theory (PTG) proposed by Tedeschi and Calhoun was used to determine Anya's post-traumatic growth domain. The primary data for this research were taken from the novel of Critical Eleven written by Ika Natassa. In addition, research related to traumatic loss and post-traumatic growth was used as supporting data. The research results show that the trauma of loss experienced by Anya is grief or mourning. Furthermore, the PTG domains found in Anya's personality reflected personal strength, inter-personal relationships, and spiritual change. In addition, this research also found that not all trauma survivors can achieve the five domains of post-traumatic growth due to the respective capabilities and life processes of each survivor.


INTRODUCTION
Ika Natassa is one of Indonesian authors whose books are popular among readers.She has been interested in writing since she was in elementary school.Natassa states that people can feel the emotions written in the stories by writing and reading books (Haniy, 2017).Further, Natassa had written some novels.Those are A Very Yuppy Wedding (2007), Divortiare (2008), Underground (2010), Antologi Rasa (2011), Twivortiare (2012), Twivortiare 2 (2014), Critical Elveven (2015), The Architecture of Love (2016), Susah Sinyal (2017), Sementara Selamanya (2020), and Heartbreak Motel (2020).In addition, four out of her ten novels were adapted as movies.Those are Antologi Rasa (2019), Twivortiare (2019), Critical Eleven (2017), andSusah Sinyal (2017).As an author, Natassa sometimes uses English words in her stories.Her way of writing books is so unique that makes the readers relish the plots of the stories even though the plots are light and uncomplicated.On that account, she is well known for her literary works which focus on the young bankers' lives in Indonesia (Putri, 2023).
This research focuses on one of her famous novels, entitled Critical Eleven.Even though the novel has never won any awards, the adapted film of this novel has won some awards and gotten some nominees.The book was originally published on May 8, 2015.Because of its deep, appealing, and realistic depiction of trauma and recovery, imaginative plot, complexity, cultural context, and insights, Critical Eleven by Ika Natassa is scientifically appropriate as an object to analyze posttraumatic growth in the literary field.The book contributes to a greater knowledge of how literature can express and foster growth after trauma by providing a thorough and shifting representation of the complexity of PTG.As such, it is a significant work for interdisciplinary research.Critical Eleven tells stories about two strangers who accidentally meet on the same flight to London.That instant meeting leads Tanya Baskoro who is called Anya, Aldebaran Risjad, or Ale into a relationship until they marry and build a family.Their relationship-marriage journey is fun and sweet until an immense tragedy happens.After years of building great relationships, they are forced to accept the fact that they lost their first newborn baby, Aidan.This leads them to a complicated and immense loss, especially for Anya.With the loss of their loved one, the situation in their family is getting drier and plainer.Further, there are some situations where they cannot deal with each other presence.Anya's wall to avoid her husband, Ale, is getting higher as Ale blames her for their baby's death.Since then, Anya has been trying to minimize her communication with Ale as much as possible.In addition, they also decide to sleep in the separate rooms.Furthermore, Anya and Ale do not tell their families about their problems.Therefore, everyone assumes that their marriage is fine after all.In fact, there is a vast, painful problem with it.Hence, dealing with the loss trauma takes Anya a significant amount of time.
Trauma brings both negative and positive effects to the survivors.Further, the causes of trauma itself are also varied.Trauma, whether one-time, repeated, or long-term recurring occurrences, affects people differently.For example, trauma and loss are historically crucial to the psychological well-being of Southeast Asian refugees, who have experienced collective mourning as a result of many losses caused by mass murder, civil war, and political conflict (Yasui et al., 2023).In addition, Indonesia, as a country with great nature, also has a high risk of trauma for the citizens because of natural disasters, such as earthquakes, volcanos, and tsunamis (David et al., 2018).Some people may exhibit criteria for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).In contrast, many others will have resilient reactions, short subclinical symptoms, or repercussions that do not meet diagnostic criteria (Treatment (US), 2014).In consequence, the impacts of traumatic experiences depend on many factors, including internal and external factors.For example, it depends on individuals' characteristics, how their surroundings react, and their traumatic events.Thus, people who have trauma have their ways of facing it in varied periods.Further, those whose trauma impacts are more rigid would tend to seek help from professionals to help them heal themselves.
Emotional and psychological trauma is the outcome of very stressful experiences that break people's sense of security, leaving them feeling helpless in a hazardous environment.Psychological trauma can cause survivors to have persistently uncomfortable emotions, memories, and worry.It can also make individuals feel numb, distant, and unwilling to trust people (Robinson et al., 2024).Hence, they will feel unstable emotionally and mentally.According to Quinn and Fletcher (2023), there are some types of trauma.They are divided into three types.The first type is called Type 1.It refers to the unexpected single trauma.It includes abuse, illness, loss of a dearest one, witnessing abuse, natural disasters, suicide attempts, and childbirth.Type 2 is called a complex trauma due to the involvement of childhood trauma and traumatic past experiences.This includes kinds of domestic violence, bullying, neglect, and religious trauma.Type 3 includes acute (single-unexpected trauma), chronic (repeated trauma), and complex trauma (multiple traumatic experiences) (Quinn & Fletcher, 2023).
Concerning the loss trauma, two types of grief were classified by Freud (1961).Those are mourning and melancholia.Both deal with loss, yet the processes and outcomes are different.Mourning is grieving over a loved one.The aftermath would be decreased motivation and interest to do something and not need help from a professional.Meanwhile, melancholia deals with the psychological point of view, where the loss itself has not yet been identified.The effects are more extreme as it would lead people to have low self-esteem.As a result, people with melancholia loss need professional help.
With those types of trauma, the survivors indeed have different reactions as well.When people can spread the positive changes of having trauma, they are in the state of achieving post-traumatic growth, which is called PTG.PTG requires much time for people to achieve.Nonetheless, it will enable people to see trauma positively.This term was identified by Tedeschi and Calhoun in 1996.The PTG itself consists of five domains.Those are personal strength, relation to others, new possibilities, appreciation of life, and spiritual changes.However, as people's PTG differs from each other's, the causes also need to be understood.Therefore, this research aims to reveal Anya's type of loss trauma and domains that show her posttraumatic growth after the traumatic incident.This study demonstrates how psychological understanding can enhance readers' comprehension of a character's actions and storyline dynamics, highlighting the relationship between the form of literature and psychological states.Further, examining how the story shapes these themes offers insights into the nature of humanity and how literature reflects and influences people's perceptions of trauma and the healing process.Critical Eleven provides a viewpoint on Indonesian culture nowadays.The research places the book in its cultural context by analyzing the novel's portrayal of societal issues and cultural views toward trauma.This cultural analysis enhances literary studies because it emphasizes how crucial context is to literary interpretation.

METHOD
Two theories are used in this research.The first is the mourning and melancholia theory by Freud (1961).It deals with the two kinds of reactions to losing a dear one.
This theory is used to discover Anya's type of loss trauma.Freud explained that both grieving and depression require the forced separation of object cathexis.Further, the phrase 'traumatic grief' could be used as a broader word to refer to the emotional pain associated with devastating separations (Boelen et al., 2019).According to Freud (1961), there are two types of loss: mourning and melancholia.Mourning refers to the situation where people are in their grief.They would face a different reality as they lose their loved ones.In this state, people can adapt themselves and later on could accept the truth.Mourning is indicated by various emotions, pressure, lack of sleep and appetite, or inability to concentrate well.The mourning period is varied; it could take weeks or even years.However, through this process of grieving, in the end, people can rebuild their spirit to live their lives.
On the contrary, there is melancholia.Freud describes melancholia as a more complicated one, referring to the psychological state of people with deep sorrow, desperation, emptiness, and losing interest in doing things they used to do.Commonly, people in this stage experience significant differences in their feelings, do not want to do daily activities, lose weight, have sleep difficulty, have intrusive thoughts, and do not have motivation.The period in melancholia is more extended than mourning.For prevention, people with melancholia are recommended to see professionals to get help.This theory is used to analyze Anya's loss trauma.By knowing which grief she has, later on, the writer can analyze her posttraumatic growth.Accordingly, the second theory is posttraumatic growth (PTG).
Tedeschi and Callhoun's theory is used to reveal Anya's domains of PTG in her healing journey.PTG has five domains.Firstly, in terms of personal strength, trauma survivors can gain power and resilience.They can change their traumatic experiences to grow and live their lives.Secondly, in relating to others, those who have gained strength can allow themselves to be involved with their surroundings.They also tend to fix their relationships and even build new ones.Thirdly, trauma survivors have a faith for having new chances.This is shown by slowly returning to their routine or creating new positive habits.Fourthly, in appreciation of life, people can be grateful for the things in their present lives, including the most minor things, such as the existence of nature.This is due to their belief that they are given a second chance.The last domain, spiritual and existence changes, enables trauma survivors to relate their situations to their relationship with God.Nevertheless, it also works for non-religious people since they can relate it to their existence (Tedeschi et al., 2018).
As a contemporary novel, Natassa's Critical Eleven has been used as studies object.Some previously conducted studies focused on code-switching in Natassa's Critical Eleven.One is a study by Anggarukma K D and WInaya (2019).The theory of code switching by Poplack and the theory of code -switching functions by Apple and Muyken are used in their study.Along with analysing the novelist's motivations for code-switching, they define the kinds and purposes.Referential, expressive, phatic, metalinguistic, and poetic functions of code-switching are all proven as the results to be present in the data.Further, only eight of Grosjean's 10 code-switching reasons were mentioned in the book (Anggarukma K D & Winaya, 2019).Another study was conducted by Fitriani and Hariyono (2023).They conducted a study to describe the mimicry forms in Natassa's Critical Eleven with a qualitative method.The postcolonial approach and interactive data analysis are used to find out the result.The findings show that the mimicry forms in Natassa's Critical Eleven include science, livelihoods, technological systems and equipment for human life, language, lifestyles, and ideas (Fitriani & Hariyono, 2023).Therefore, this current research is expected to fill the gap by analysing the main character's posttraumatic growth in Natassa's Critical Eleven.Since the object of this research is Natassa's Critical Eleven, the primary data are in the form of narratives.Some previously conducted studies were used to provide more information for the supporting data in the discussion.First, the writer read the novel several times.Second, some necessary evidence and narratives were highlighted and further were selected.After that, the selected data was analyzed in the discussion.
Lastly, the writer presents the conclusion.

FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION
As the main character in Natassa's Critical Eleven, Anya plays a significant role in the story.Further, as a character who has trauma, Anya has undergone some challenging situations in her life.Further, she also deals with the difficulties of healing herself, including forgiving and accepting reality.To reveal an individual's posttraumatic growth, identifying the causes of trauma is necessarily essential.Therefore, there are https://doi.org/10.22146/sasdaya.13036 Anya's Posttraumatic Growth Over Her Loss Trauma as Reflected … | 42 two parts to this discussion.The first is the discussion about the type of Anya's loss trauma, while the second part discusses her posttraumatic growth.

Anya's Type of Loss Trauma: Mourning
Anya and Ale have become a lovely and desirable couple.However, after their baby's death, everything has changed, including themselves.The leading cause of Anya's trauma is the loss of her son, Aidan.Further, her trauma gets worse after Ale blames her for their baby's death.In this case, Anya shows the signs and characteristics of mourning instead of melancholia.In her mourning loss, Anya reveals her grief, sadness, and longing for her baby.Those are explained as the following.

Grief
Never has Anya imagined that losing someone she loves would put her in the most challenging situation.Losing her first baby after giving birth to him fuels Anya's trauma of loss.In her grieving state, Anya is trying to deal with her grief in her own way.She has the disinterest to do some activities as they used to.This makes Ale wonder when Anya will finally accept reality.Hence, not long after her baby's death, Anya and Ale get into an argument, which makes Ale blames their baby's death on her.This can be seen in the following narratives.
Dan aku ingat bahwa apa yang kuinginkan saat itu hanya satu: pergi ke klinik dahsyat ini, menjalani procedure lacunar amnesia itu, supaya bisa berdiri di depan Aldebaran Risjad, seperti Clementine yang bisa berdiri didepan Joel dan menatapnya dengan pandangan kosong seakan -akan berkata, "I already forgot how I used to feel about you."But it's just a movie.Hidup memang tidak pernah sedrama di film, tapi hidup juga tidak pernah segampang di film.(Natassa, 2015: 40) Seperti air buat orang yang baru hampir mati tenggelam.Seperti api buat orang yang jadi korban luka bakar parah.Karena suara itu juga yang dulu, di dapur ini, enam bulan yang lalu, dengan lancangnya melafalkan, "Mungkin kalau dulu kamu nggak terlalu sibuk, Aidan masih…".(Natassa, 2015: 77) The first narrative above shows that Anya is disappointed in Ale.As a mother who has just lost her baby, it is enormously complex for Anya.However, she does not get the support from her husband.Instead, she is being blamed.Support should not have a time limit.Providing ongoing assistance is critical in the long term.Reaching out to individuals who lack a solid support system or are more sensitive to isolation is important (Ellis, 2022).Thus, what Ale does to Anya makes her loss trauma get worse.
It can be seen in the second narrative above.Instead of helping her wife to heal from the loss trauma, Ale contributes to her trauma and makes her finally decide to avoid him in their household.Further, Anya's grief can also be seen through the following narrative.
Mungkin ada pendekatan ilmiah yang bisa kucoba untuk mengobati duka.Mungkin bisa jadi lebih mudah buatku untuk menerima fakta bahwa aku tidak akan pernah bisa menyusui Aidan, tidak pernah akan bisa merasakan jari -jari kecilnya menggenggam tanganku, tidak akan pernah bisa menciuminya yang menenangkannya saat dia menangis, tidak akan pernah bisa mendengarkan gelak tawanya ketika aku memandikannya dan dia menciprat-cipratkan air ke arahku, tidak akan pernah bisa menyaksikan dia berusaha sekuat tenaga untuk belajar berjalan, tidak akan pernah bisa membelai rambutnya sampai dia tertidur, tidak akan pernah menjadi saksi senyum jailnya saat dia melempar-lemparkan bantal di rumah, tidak akan pernah bisa merasakan detak jantung kecilnya saat aku memeluknya erat -erat di dadaku.Tidak akan pernah bisa mendengar suara menggemaskannya memanggilku mama.(Natassa, 2015: 96) The third narrative above shows how Anya grieves by thinking about things she could not do with Aidan.Those include breastfeeding him, feeling and holding his little fingers, kissing him, hearing his laughs, witnessing his first walks, sending him to sleep, watching him play, hugging him, and hearing him calling her "Mom."A more profound sense of grief exists behind the shifting emotions of mourning.This more profound sense indicates a changed behavior in society whereby the bereaved see themselves as "at a distance" from the worldly (Køster, 2022).When individuals lose someone, they may experience a wide range of feelings or behaviors as they try to grasp their reality without their loved ones.That being so, these indicate the characteristic of mourning after losing someone, particularly in grieving.Moreover, in the following narrative, Anya shows how she grieves.
From the fourth narrative above, it can be seen that the way she grieves is different from Ale. Anya's ways of grieving over her baby are firstly through crying her heart out.Further, Anya also expresses her grief by touching and folding her baby's little unworn clothes every night.In addition, buying new little clothes is also Anya's way of grieving.By doing those things, Anya feels the comfort that later on can make her think that Aidan is nearby.Moreover, during this stage of grieving, people may seek comfort to replace the emptiness left by their loved ones.They may accomplish this by recreating memories through images and seeking reminders from the individual to whom they can feel close.During this stage, people become highly focused on whom they have lost (Clarke, 2023).Thus, the acts that Anya does reflect that she is  (Natassa, 2015: 256) It can be seen that in the fifth narrative above, Anya's grief is also in the form of supposition.She imagines how things work differently in her marriage relationship after the incident and their loss.Grief is highly personal and primarily regarded as a universal aspect of the human experience (Kelz & Knappe, 2021).In addition, everyone has different ways of grieving; thus, Anya's way, in this case, matters.People's grief often fades with time.Most people can adjust to life without their loved ones.Even so, there is no timetable for the duration this will require because everyone's circumstances are different.On that account, Anya's mourning of loss is shown through how she grieves.It includes how she reacts to any situation, especially the blame put on her, and how she lets out her emotions by doing things related to her baby, Aidan.

Sadness
The second characteristic that is included in the mourning loss is the sadness.Sadness is a characteristic sign of grieving resulting from losing somebody people care about.In this sense, sorrow and love are inexorably connected (Wolfelt, 2023).Further, loved ones play vital roles in the lives of individuals, and their deaths create huge gaps.People frequently want more time with their loved ones, more pleasure, laughter, and healing, but death renders such wishes unattainable.Consequently, one is expected to experience a range of emotions after the passing of a loved one, including sadness, anger, guilt, and confusion (Edwin, 2023).As someone who has loss trauma, Anya often shows and expresses her sadness as the characteristic of mourning.The first narrative can be seen as follows.The narrative above shows that Anya has felt some emotions after Aidan's passing.

Aku melipat pakaian dan merapikan
From the narrative, it can be seen that whenever she folds Aidan's clothes with different made-up stories in her mind, it makes her laugh as she can imagine Aidan in those clothes.Further, it also makes Anya feel sad.The shifting feelings that she has show that Anya still holds the sadness ever since Aidan passed away.Even though sadness is a feeling that the death of a loved one can trigger, it is characterized in a broader context than grieving (Hoffmann et al., 2022).Therefore, this shows that Anya has a mourning characteristic: sadness.In addition, the following narrative is also proof that Anya is sad.
Dalam dua belas langkah menuju meja kasir, mataku menangkap sepotong jaket varsity berwarna cokelat dan putih, dengan huruf A dibordir gagah di dada kirinya.Kusentuh huruf A itu perlahan.Aidan would look so good in this jacket, he really would.He'd be the most handsome little man you'd ever set eyes on.(Natassa, 2015: 98) The second narrative above shows that Anya's sadness hits her when she sees a jacket with the letter A. As soon as Anya sees it, she remembers her baby, Aidan.In consequence, she suddenly feels sad.Here, Anya also imagines how good the jacket would be for Aidan.Thus, Anya decided to buy it.In addition, sadness is a sign of someone's wounds.Emotional wounds, like physical ones, require support (Wolfelt, 2023).Consequently, Anya's way of seeing and, ultimately, buying that jacket is what she does to take care of her sadness.

Longing
Longing is an unfulfilled, strong, and forward-looking appetitive desire.It comprises actively seeking something in the future instead of just missing someone from the past and being conscious of its absence.Importantly, longing occurs about an object.
Someone yearns for something (Robinaugh et al., 2016).In this case, the longing stage is also felt by Anya as the one who has trauma.Anya's longing phase can be seen in the following first narrative.Before Aidan was born, Anya and Ale prepared the room, furniture, and baby stuff.

Rasa sakit yang sudah kuterima dan kuanggap kawan sejak enam bulan yang lalu. Tidak ada artinya dibanding kesempatan untuk merasa dekat dengan
They even added a connecting door between their room and Aidan's room.They wanted to make it easier for them to access Aidan's room.The room contains decorations, drawers with his little clothes, and other baby stuff.Hence, Anya has always come to Aidan's room since his passing.Every night, Anya sleeps in Aidan's room, on the floor, hugging one of Aidan's clothes.This makes Anya feel closer to her baby even though he is not here.In the narrative above, Anya shows she comes to Aidan's room.Further, she also states that for the past six months, after the blaming incident and Aidan's passing, Anya prefers to sleep in her baby's room instead.Moreover, in the following narrative, Anya's longing phase also leads her to have delusions about her baby.
"Ma, Ma, Ma, Ma…" Ada suara memanggil-manggil dan tangan mungil mengguncangkan-guncang lengan dan pundakku yang membangunkanku pagi ini."Ma, Ma, bangun, Ma," kali ini bibir mungil yang menyerukannya di telingaku.(Natassa, 2015: 266) People who are mourning frequently have illusions about the departed, ranging from stating that they are still in communication with them to conversing with them and rejecting the truth of the death (Carmassi et al., 2020).In the second narrative above, Anya has a delusion of Aidan calling her Mama.This indicates that Anya is missing Aidan.As a result, her unconsciousness leads her to create delusions in her mind.She often imagines her life as a mother with the usual daily activities she could do with her son.As Anya's longing gets thicker, the delusion takes over.This shows that in mourning, Anya shows her longing phase.Hence, from the three mentioned discussions, it can be proven that Anya's loss belongs to the mourning loss instead of melancholia.The characteristics of mourning show it.Those are grief, sadness, and longing.

Anya's Posttraumatic Growth
Even though Anya has loss trauma and has a mourning phase, it does not mean that she blocks the positive changes of her loss.In this case, Anya has shown that having trauma also brings positive changes in her life, although it takes time.Thus, Anya has received posttraumatic growth.Out of the five domains of posttraumatic growth by Tedeschi and Calhoun, only three domains are shown by the character Anya throughout the story.Those are personal strength, relating to others, and spiritual changes.

Personal Strength
Strength is the first domain of PTG founded in Anya's character.She can gain her strength and become resilient.This indicates posttraumatic growth as an individual who could make a positive change through a traumatic experience.After trying to avoid her husband, Ale, Anya has gained the strength to decide what to do.Further, as a person who has trauma, Anya is also able to define what she is supposed to do in making decisions.Hence, Anya's strength can be seen in the following narrative.
Aku menyerah mendefinisikan tadi malam itu apa.Yang jelas permasalahan antara aku dan Ale bukan jenis pertengkaran yang bisa diselesaikan hanya dengan tidur Bersama.(Natassa, 2015: 169) After six months of separating her life from Ale and drawing distance from her marriage, Anya is slowly willing to fix her relationship with Ale.It is seen in the way Anya wants to take part in giving him a birthday surprise with his family and friends.
Further, Anya finally lets Ale show his affection to her.In the narrative above, it happens after Ale's birthday.Anya and Ale's better relationship is shown through how they express their love.Nevertheless, as stated in the narrative, Anya does not want their problem to be solved just by spending time and sleeping together.Her strength is shown here by how determined she is as a wife.For that reason, she longs for a better solution.With such determination, Anya shows she has gained the strength to accept Ale's affection and reason.Thus, after that moment, Anya draws back her distance from Ale to give themselves time to reflect.
Furthermore, Anya's strength is also shown in the following second narrative.Here, Anya, a busy and hard-working person, has to do a business trip to Singapore.This means that she cannot sleep in Aidan's room.As a result, Anya decides to bring things that could remind her of Aidan.Nonetheless, this does not show how weak and sad she is; it shows she can stand firm.(Natassa, 2015: 313 -314) From the narrative above, it can be seen that Anya comes to Pondok Indah, Aidan's cemetery, every Saturday morning to see his graveyard.Despite that, Anya used to fail, give up, and decide to go home.Anya collects all her strength to finally get out of the car and come closer to Aidan's spot.As a mother who lost her baby, it must be tough for Anya even to see her baby's cemetery.However, Anya shows her strength in coming and finally praying for him.Furthermore, in the following narrative, Anya also shows her strength.

I carry a little piece of
Laki -laki yang dulu pernah mengucapkan itu yang sekarang kubiarkan memelukku seerat -eratnya.Yang kubalas pelukannya juga sekencang -kencangnya.Karena akhirnya aku sadar, itulah yang selama ini sudah dia lakukan untuk istrinya ini.Tetap berada di sini tanpa peduli seberapa besar usahaku untuk menjauhkan dan menjauhinya.(Natassa, 2015: 325) Mama kadang juga nggak tahu apa yang ada di dalam pikiran papa kamu, tapia da satu hal yang Mama tahu pasti.Dia saying kamu, saying Mama, dan sama -sama kita bertiga nanti menyayangi dan menjaga adik kamu ya, Nak.(Natassa, 2015: 330) After being done with themselves, Anya and Ale finally decide to fix and make up their relationship.The narrative above shows that Anya's strength is accepting that she also needs Ale and vice versa.That being the case, she can finally forgive her husband with strength.Forgiveness is a strength rather than a weakness, leading to self-awareness, empowerment, and happiness.Those with a concurrent sense of fairness or impartiality may find forgiveness difficult (Monk, 2019).Furthermore, in the last narrative above, it can also be seen that Anya's strength helps her help Ale recover from their grieves together.In addition, by gaining her strength, Anya can keep her second baby and tell Ale about her pregnancy.

Relating to Others
The second domain of posttraumatic growth that Anya has is relating to others.In this Therefore, Anya states that Tara and Agnes are two people who love her, and they would love Aidan as much as they love her.Anya also shows that her friendship with them does not fade or disappear.On the contrary, Anya's friendship also helps her to survive.Therefore, Anya is achieving posttraumatic growth through such great friendships.
Aku tahu apa yang harus kulakukan buat Ale.Aku hampiri dia, aku pegang tangannya, aku temani dia ke tempat yang dulu dia rencanakan, persiapkan, dan kerjakan dengan binar -binar semangat di matanya.Aku ajak dia ke kamar anak kami yang sudah sekian lama tidak pernah dia masuki lagi.(Natassa, 2015: 328) Another thing in this domain that shows Anya's posttraumatic growth can be seen in the narrative above.Anya recognizes what she can do for Ale.It can be seen that Anya tries to support him because she knows that Aidan's passing breaks both of them.As the story states, Aidan has a room he has not entered yet.Since Aidan's passing, Ale has never been there.In the narrative above, Ale enters that room for the first time, along with Anya.By relating herself with Ale, Anya can help him recover as well.This shows that the loss trauma Anya has, in the end, does not stop her from helping her husband to get out of the sorrow.

Spiritual Changes
The third domain, which indicates Anya's posttraumatic growth, is shown through how she can take the spiritual changes of her loss trauma.In this domain, trauma survivors can reflect on the existence of God.In this case, Anya shows her spiritual changes throughout her trauma recovery journey.The first narrative below shows how she believes that God would never give her life challenges that she could not face.Aku tahu kalian pasti akan berkata aku seharusnya kembali ke Tuhan daripada hanya mengandalkan semua buku teoritis buatan manusia.Berpasrah kepada-Nya karena Dia tidak akan memberi cobaan lebih daripada yang bisa kutanggung.Karena apa pun yang Dia limpahkan padaku-rezeki ataupun cobaan-dalam keadaan berlebih ataupun kekurangan, semuanya adalah yang terbaik dari-Nya untukku.Karena Tuhan memberi cobaan kepada umat yang Ia sayangi.I know all of these, I do.And I did turn to God. (Natassa, 2015: 96) Anya states that surrender is a must for everyone because God would help people face their problems.Every treasure or obstacle, whether it is much or less, in any situation, whether poor or rich, is good and is meant to be.In addition, Anya also states that she turns to God during mourning phase.This indicates that trauma has brought positive spiritual changes for Anya as she can be close to God.
Dan terkadang, kalau Tuhan sedang sangat baik padaku, Ia hadirkan mimpi yang sangat jelas dan hidup dan rinci, seperti tadi malam.Aidan yang kini sudah berusia tiga tahun membangunkanku minta sarapan, lalu membangunkan papanya, dan semua terjadi layaknya pagi sempurna di sebuah keluarga kecil yang sempurna.(Natassa, 2015: 273) Mama mau Subuh dulu ya, Dan, mau berterima kasih kepada Tuhan karena sudah mempertemukan Mama dengan kamu tadi malam.Walaupun hanya dalam mimpi, Mama senang banget lihat kamu makin gede, makin ganteng, dan makin pintar, Dan, Mama bangga banget sama kamu, Sayang.… Mama sayang kamu, Dan, lebih dari apa pun, lebih dari diri Mama sendiri.Cuma kamu yang Mama punya sekarang, Dan.Cuma kamu.(Natassa, 2015: 276) In the first narrative above, it can be seen that Anya is grateful for the blessings that she gets to see Aidan through her dreams.She states that God is kind to her and can see Aidan grow into a great son.Further, Anya states that God would let her see her future if Aidan were still alive.Here, from a positive point of view, Anya could turn her trauma to help her see how great God is in giving such blessings to her during her difficult period.Further, in the last narrative, Anya shows her spiritual changes by thanking God for the situation whenever she can see Aidan in her dreams.She states that even though all of it happens in dreams, she is happy to watch Aidan grow, and it can help Anya recover from her yearning.Therefore, Anya's relationship with God in this story has shown that Anya has achieved her posttraumatic growth.

CONCLUSION
The findings in this research show that Anya's type of loss trauma is mourning.This result was discovered with Freud's theory of Mourning and Melancholia.In addition, Anya's mourning can be seen through her grief, sadness, and longing forms.Further, concerning Anya's posttraumatic growth, out of five domains in PTG, Anya only has achieved three domains of PTG by Tedeschi and Calhoun (1996).Those are personal strength, relating to others, and spiritual changes.Through these findings, it can be understood that trauma survivors have their respective ways of recovering.They take different periods subjectively to heal themselves due to their respective capability and life occurrences.Hence, not all of them could achieve all domains of posttraumatic growth.
Aidan wherever I go.…Just me, Aidan, and Bobo tonight.The world is a crazy place; sometimes, we must do whatever we must to get by.This is how I get by, no matter how crazy it sounds.(Natassa,2015:178)Fromthe narrative above, it can be seen that Anya carries part of Aidan whenever she goes.By carrying things as reminders of Aidan, Anya has shown that her loss can simultaneously be the source of her strength.Here, Anya indicates her posttraumatic growth to stay and keep living her life, and this is what she does.She shows her strength by stating that life is scary and that people must do things to survive.Moreover, Anya's strength is also shown in the following narrative.Ale always thinks that Anya does not care about Aidan's graveyard.Yet, the fact is that Anya always https://doi.org/10.22146/sasdaya.13036Anya'sPosttraumatic Growth Over Her Loss Trauma as Reflected … | 48 tries to come to the cemetery to see Aidan, but she is not strong enough to step her feet in there.
domain, trauma survivors can relate to others, build new relationships, connect with their surroundings, and communicate well with them.In addition, they do not withdraw themselves from society.Instead, they can fit in.The following narrative shows that even though Anya has loss trauma, she can still build good relationships with her best friends.The narrative above shows that Agnes and Tara, Anya's best friends, give their opinions about Anya and Ale's relationship.They say that Ale is the key to her recovery.Here, Anya's reaction is to accept what they say.She does not deny what they say as parts of herself believe that Ale can help her recover from her loss. https://doi.org/10.22146/sasdaya.13036 Anya's Posttraumatic Growth Over Her Loss Trauma as Reflected … | 50