This study analyzed textual data from 54 male victims, resulting in 8 themes (Table 1): (1) Psychological abuse (verbal insults, belittlement, emotional harm, etc.), (2) Threat and control (using children and family members as leverage, threatening divorce, self-harm, etc.), (3) Physical violence, (4) Economic abuse, (5) Sexual abuse, (6) Partner's passive violence (refusal to communicate, indifference, leaving home, etc.), (7) Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflict (conflict with parents-in-law, insulting parents-in-law, disrespecting family members, competing for family status and resources, etc.), (8) Infidelity.75.93% (n = 41) of the men reported experiencing two or more forms of violence. The analysis results both align with and differ from existing literature on violence. Existing literature suggests that male victims of IPV experience physical attacks, sexual coercion, psychological abuse, and controlling behavior, including economic abuse [35]. In addition to the previously mentioned themes, three new concepts emerged: infidelity, "cold violence" with Chinese cultural background, and "conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law" caused by "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts."
Table 1
Statistics Table of Types of Violence Against Men(n = 54)
Types of violence | N | % |
Psychological violence | 38 | 70.37 |
Threat control | 9 | 16.67 |
Physical violence | 4 | 7.41 |
Economic abuse | 19 | 35.19 |
Sexual abuse | 11 | 20.37 |
Infidelity | 13 | 24.07 |
Cold violence | 15 | 27.78 |
Conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law | 9 | 16.67 |
Note. Some victims have experienced two or more types of violence. |
In recent years, infidelity incidents have gained more attention in China, as the frequent occurrence of infidelity and the dynamics of "loyalty" and "infidelity" in intimate relationships have sparked high levels of interest. A study investigated the prevalence trends and patterns of extramarital sex (EMS) in China using large-scale population data. The results showed that the incidence of EMS among married adults aged 20–59 almost tripled from 2000 to 2015, with men's rates increasing from 12.9–33.4% and women's rates increasing from 4.7–11.4% [36]. Infidelity represents the most serious breach of an intimate relationship and often leads to negative emotions for both the unfaithful partner and their spouse, which can potentially trigger IPV. Therefore, infidelity should be considered as a form of IPV.
Chinese researchers generally defined domestic cold violence as the way of resolving conflicts using indifference, disdain, and alienation that individuals used when problems arose in their relationships rather than using assault and insult [37].
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflict is a new type of violence within IPV. In traditional Chinese marital relationships, conflicts between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have always been a challenging issue. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts arise from differences in role understanding, interests, and power struggles between the two parties. The interaction among the mother-in-law, son, and daughter-in-law can be negatively impacted due to the social and historical reasons. In the Chinese context, one form of violence that men experience is being caught in the middle of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts, often referred to as "conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law." This study mainly focuses on the harm caused to victims due to their partners' harm towards their own family members.
This study found that psychological abuse, coercive control, sexual violence, and emotional neglect have overlapping and blurred definitions in existing literature. Therefore, in the following research, we will re-define the manifestations of each type of violence and provide descriptive examples as cited below.
Psychological abuse
Psychological abuse, also known as emotional violence, psychological aggression, mental maltreatment, or emotional abuse (terms used interchangeably in this paper), refers to behaviors aimed at embarrassing, belittling, or undermining someone's self-worth or self-esteem, controlling and/or isolating them, and employing threatening or coercive strategies [38]. Psychological abuse is often associated with verbal aggression, such as using hurtful language, insulting, and name-calling towards a partner [39]. The existing literature lacks uniformity in the manifestations of psychological abuse, including both verbal and non-verbal harm, as well as aspects of threat and control, making it difficult to differentiate. Therefore, this study redefines psychological abuse as behaviors that torment the partner emotionally or involve verbal insults and demeaning language, primarily manifested through verbal humiliation, belittlement, and emotional harm. Threats, intimidation, and restricting the partner's freedom are defined as the next theme, namely threat and control. Consistent with previous research, psychological abuse constitutes the most prevalent form of violence experienced by Chinese men, accounting for 70.37% (n = 38). Yan XX shared:
She increasingly questions and criticizes me with extremely hurtful words.
Men also suffer emotional damage from their partners. Some men have expressed that their partners do not care for them or reciprocate their love. Zhou XX stated:
I treated her well and cherished her with all my love, but I never received a response. The imbalance in love over time led to the emergence of problems.
Disparagement of the partner's appearance and derogatory language are also reported:
Every day, she would say how beautiful and young she is and how lucky I am to have married her. She would criticize my weight, ugliness, and find disgusting things about me. Her eyes were filled with scorn.
Threat and control
One key factor underlying violent behaviors towards intimate partners appears to be the need for exerting power and control [40]. In our study, threat and control mainly manifested as threats to take away children, monitoring the partner's phone, warning males of adverse consequences such as self-harm or suicide if they do not comply with rules, and threats of leaving them. Males who had children reported that their father-child relationship was negatively affected [41]. Threat and control violence accounted for 16.67% (n = 9) in our study. Feng XX, who ended the relationship, shared:
She demanded that I pay child support for 18 years and threatened that the child woul Never know who the father is, making the child not recognize me as their father.
Forcing men to compromise by threatening self-harm or self-injury was also reported:
She started crying, causing a scene, and even attempted suicide, accusing me of being heartless. She said she had been with me for eight years but I didn't trust her at all.
According to Evan Stark's coercive control theory [42], males exposed to long-term intimidation, insults, humiliation, verbal and emotional abuse, and pervasive violence threats may internalize a diminished sense of self-worth, which can have negative effects. This reduced sense of self-worth may contribute to increased levels of depression among males.
Physical violence
According to the World Health Organization, physical violence entails actions such as slapping, hitting, kicking, and beating [35]. In the context of IPV, males report being pushed, shoved, scratched, shaken, slapped, kicked, bitten, threatened, or harmed with a knife or other objects [43, 44]. This study, 7.4% (n = 4) of men reported consistent behavior, with one man stating that he was physically harmed by his partner when she slapped him, which resulted in injury.:
During one incident, after she finished speaking, I began explaining the matter to her mother, and she started hitting me. I said, 'Don't hit me,' but she continued to hit me.
Males experiencing physical injuries due to their partner's violence were also reported:
The child's growth and development are a bit delayed. She complained that I didn't care about the child and felt that the grandmother didn't take good care of the child. We had a big fight, and she slapped me, rupturing my eardrum.
The consequences of physical violence experienced by Chinese males are consistent with previous literature, including physical injuries such as scratches, bruises, cuts, burns, fractures, and stabbings [44].
Economic abuse
There is no consistent definition of economic abuse in existing research. Existing literature defines economic abuse as the interference by an individual in their partner's ability to access, use, and maintain economic resources. Economic abuse includes economic control, employment sabotage, and financial exploitation [45].In China, in 2008, Article 3, Item 4 of the "Guidelines for the Trial of Cases Involving Family Violence and Marriage" issued by the Institute of Applied Law of the Supreme People's Court, explicitly defines economic control as "strict control by the perpetrator over jointly-owned property and the family's income and expenses, which destroys the victim's self-esteem, self-confidence, and sense of self-worth in order to achieve control over the victim". We adopt this concept as the definition of economic abuse in our study. Economic abuse accounted for 35.19% (n = 19) in our study, indicating a relatively high occurrence of economic abuse among Chinese males. The manifest actions conform to the previously mentioned legal provisions, including controlling the male partner's income and imposing constraints on their procurement of essential goods:
Right after getting married, she demanded that I hand over the millions I had saved over the years, and then she started various extravagant expenditures.
Participating in gambling, which resulted in family debts:
I just want to ask, with only 2,000 yuan at home, she managed to gamble it all away. The next day I didn't even have enough money to buy cigarettes. This has happened to me twice!
Restricting the male partner's spending was mentioned by Xiong XX, who shared:
A few days ago, she checked the accounts. I spent a little over 100 yuan in three days, and she was unhappy. She said that I should be supporting the family and shouldn't be spending that much.
Another manifestation is the traditional Chinese custom of the "Caili" which also contributes to the male partner accumulating debt:
During the engagement period, we had many unpleasant incidents due to the dowry and customs. In order to meet her expectations for the dowry, I borrowed over a hundred thousand yuan.
The economic abuse experienced by males differs from that of females. Females primarily experience economic control, economic exploitation, and employment interference, while males experience economic control, spending limitations, and accumulating debts.
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse refers to the use of physical, verbal, or coercive tactics to force intimate partners into engaging in sexual activities against their will [46]. Previous studies have reported that males experienced sexual abuse from their partners through threats, manipulation, pressure, and false promises, which coerced them into engaging in unwanted sexual acts and/or unprotected sexual activities [14]. In contrast, our study found that several participants disclosed experiences of sexual neglect, indifference, refusal of sexual invitations, living separately, or sleeping in separate beds after marriage. In this study, 20.37% (n = 11) of the male participants reported experiencing sexual abuse. As shared by Zong XX:
For the past two years, we slept on the same bed with our daughter in between us. She completely ignores my presence and feels disgusted even when I hold her hand or get close to her.
Another participant mentioned that sexual abuse started after the birth of their child:
We have been married for 7 years. Since our child was born, she has not allowed me to touch her and refuses to have any intimate contact with me. Is there still a need to continue a marriage like this? What could be the reason for a woman not allowing physical contact with her husband?
The occurrence of sexual abuse can disrupt family harmony, leading to mutual suspicion, emotional detachment between spouses, and even some husbands seeking satisfaction through extramarital affairs, resulting in a crisis within the family.
Infidelity
Infidelity, also known as extramarital affairs, cheating, or adultery, refers to the occurrence of intimate interactions and/or emotional involvement between married individuals and someone other than their spouse, whether it is a person of the opposite sex or the same sex [47]. Infidelity is considered "harmful," "immoral," and "harmful to children" [48]. Both in Western countries and in China, most people express disapproval toward marital infidelity [49]. In our study, infidelity (either with opposite-sex or same-sex partners) accounted for 25.93% (n = 14).
Infidelity with opposite-sex partners In our study, male participants reported instances of infidelity by their partners, characterized by maintaining relationships with members of the opposite sex, which caused significant damage to their marital relationship, as well as harm to children and other family members:
I found out that she was renting a place and living together with a man 13 years older than her.
Cheating on same-sex Same-sex marriage has not yet been legally recognized in China, making it impossible for the rights of the LGBTQ + community to be fulfilled. However, due to societal pressures, some individuals form marriages while identifying as homosexual. In these marriages, one term used is "same-husband," which refers to cases where the wife identifies as a lesbian. Another term is "same-wife." According to the United Nations "Report on the Living Conditions of Sexual Minority Groups in China," 84.1% of sexual minority individuals are in opposite-sex marriages, 13.2% are in formal marriages, and 2.6% are registered in same-sex marriages abroad. these numbers are still significant and cannot be ignored. The "same-husbands" group still exists in this study:
We have been living apart for several years after marriage, until May last year, she told me that she is a lesbian and has feelings for another woman, asking me to let go.
Furthermore, some men expressed that their marriages were solely for the purpose of having children, and after giving birth, their partners left them to form other families:
In their chat records, everything was planned. The two of them, both women, want to start an abnormal family with my unfortunate daughter.
When individuals from the LGBTQ + community enterinto marriages with heterosexual partners, they often struggle to fulfill the rights and responsibilities expected within the institution of marriage, including sexual intimacy. As these heterosexual marriages are not based on emotional and shared life desires, most same-sex individuals in such marriages often lack care and affection from their spouses, leading to various forms of violence, including psychological abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse. Consequently, male "same-husbands" often become victims of multiple forms of IPV. Cao XX shared his experience:
We do not have a sexual relationship between us, and we feel very suppressed together. Whatever I do, she criticizes me and constantly threatens me with divorce. We have been separated for several years after marriage until last May, when she told me that she likes women.
Faced with infidelity, most men experience physiological pain, suppression, anger, and shame.
Cold violence
Chinese scholars have different definitions of cold violence. For example, [50]suggests that common forms of cold violence include indifference towards partners, reducing or ceasing verbal communication, neglecting the partner's sexual needs, and implementing economic control. This definition includes sexual needs and economic control, making it difficult to clearly differentiate the themes. On the other hand, [51]defines cold violence as non-violent forms of malicious defamation, sarcastic mockery, cold indifference, discriminatory alienation, insults, and intimidation between family members during conflicts. It is manifested by indifference, lack of verbal communication, restricting freedom of action, cessation or perfunctory sexual activities, and disregard for the family and its members. This definition encompasses verbal violence, non-verbal violence, coercive control, and sexual abuse. The concepts regarding cold violence mentioned above are complicated and contain multiple themes, making it challenging to distinguish them. Therefore, in this study, cold violence refers to emotionally harmful behaviors towards others through non-verbal means, such as indifference, refusal to communicate, and perfunctoriness.
Cold violence differs from psychological violence. Cold violence primarily manifests as emotional harm through cold treatment, while psychological violence mainly manifests as verbal abuse, degradation, and emotional harm. Although both are forms of emotional harm, one focuses on language and emotional harm, while the other focuses on non-verbal or isolation harm. Cold violence has become a prevalent phenomenon in most Chinese families, attracting the attention of researchers and the public[52]. The essence of cold violence lies in the absence of obvious violent behaviors, often tormenting the other person mentally. This also makes cold violence difficult to detect but easy to recur, making it challenging for others to recognize [51]. In our study, cold violence accounted for 27.78% (n = 15) and primarily manifested as estrangement and lack of care, as shared by Huang XX:
She never contacts me or shows any concern for me in these three years.
There are also instances of refusing communication and disgust, as Yu XX shared:
Every time I try to improve our relationship and talk to her, she brushes me off, shows impatience, and even finds various excuses for me to go away.
Cold violence inflicted by partners causes psychological harm and insults to the victims' dignity. The victims endure long-term suffering, leading to emotional instability, anxiety, depression, helplessness, fear, and developing withdrawal, isolation, and interpersonal communication barriers. Their personal and professional lives are affected, and some may even lose the courage to live and contemplate desperate measures.
mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts
The relationship between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is considered a special type of family relationship and often receives significant attention. Unlike the natural closeness found in parent-child relationships based on blood ties, or the deep emotional foundation and mutual support obligations seen in marital relationships, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is a practical and intimate relationship that requires constant interaction and deepening of connections [53]. In modern society, many couples choose to live separately from their parents to avoid intergenerational conflicts. However, due to the lack of primary caregivers for infants and young children, they often rely on the help of the older generation [54]. Living together, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law inevitably encounter conflicts arising from various daily life details. These conflicts exhibit characteristics of individuality, fragmentation, non-severity, and differences [55]. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts are jokingly referred to as "time bombs" hidden in marriage [56]. Men, who play a dual role as sons and husbands, play a crucial role in connecting their relationship. If this intermediary role is played well, it can strengthen the emotional bond between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Conversely, if poorly managed, it can lead to the deterioration of the relationship, conflicts between the two, and even make themselves the focus of the conflicts, facing a dilemma of being "caught in the middle". Therefore, in this study, we have separately categorized this topic with unique Chinese cultural characteristics as "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law struggles". The proportion of men experiencing violence due to mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts in this study was 16.67% (n = 9). It primarily manifested in the form of partners causing verbal or behavioral harm to their parents and the stagnation of their relationship with family members, as shared by Pan XX:
Regarding cooking, when the older person adds ginger while frying vegetables, she expresses displeasure and becomes angry. When the older person prepares cold dishes with scallions, ginger, and garlic, she becomes upset again. I told the older person not to add scallions, ginger, and garlic to the dishes, which made her very unhappy. I am truly 'caught in the middle.
Another manifestation is the escalation of conflicts between partners and parents, as Wu XX shared:
My wife and my mother had a fight over inviting my brother and sister-in-law to our house for dinner. I don't know who is right or wrong, and I can't mediate the conflict between them. In the end, the entire family became unhappy.
When there is conflict between the wife and the mother-in-law, the husband may bear pressure and a sense of responsibility from both sides. He may feel unable to treat both parties fairly, mediate, or meet the expectations of both, which can lead to anxiety and stress.