THE VALUES OF ISLAMIC EDUCATION IN THE TRADITION OF TOLABALANGO AND MADDUTA

Motolobalango and Madduta-Mamanu-manu customs in the courtship tradition of Gorontalo tribe and Bugis tribe have institutionalized in society. Motolobalango is carried out when the families of both parties have carried out dulohupa (meeting), while Madduta-Mamanu-manu is carried out when a boy proposes to a girl. These two customs have their own characteristics, yet in certain cases the process has similarities and differences. This study discusses the implementation of courtship tradition in Islamic perspective and analyses the values of Islamic education contained in this tradition. The values of Islamic education are the attributes inherent in education to achieve the purpose of human life, namely to serve God, the Almighty. The value in Islamic education is something which is helpful and useful for humans after undergoing a process of effort carried out consciously and intentionally, so that the behavior of a person or society changes from a certain state to a better state. The results of the analysis showed that courtship tradition contains the value of tolerance and cooperation, as well as social, economic and religious values.


Introduction
Courtship tradition of various tribes is certainly different. It is carried out through certain stages based on the prevailing customs. The implementation of tradition is an element of social transformation in a society that links traditional elements to religious behavior. It might continuously collaborate or experience value reduction if it is linked to Islamic teachings. Therefore, with the arrival of Islam in a country or society, there will be an adjustment to Islamic law. Obviously, not all of the elements of tradition are bad. It should be discussed and examined which one is good to maintain and to follow.
Nowadays, dichotomous views often arise between "tradition" and "modernity". There is an understanding that "tradition" is in contrary to "modernity", or, conversely, "modernity" is always essentially against "tradition". Regarding to this problem, Eisenstadt, a well-known modern sociologist, (in Tohopi, 2009), explains that what must be discussed are "modernity" and "traditionalism", not "tradition".
Then an attitude of dissatisfaction with a too narrow conception of tradition is developed. Dissatisfaction also arises from the assumption that modern society, because of its orientation to change, is anti-traditional, or nontraditional, while traditional societies, based on the definition, are opposed to change. Not only a great diversity and ability to change in traditional society which is rediscovered, but also a growing recognition of the importance of tradition in modern society-even in its most modern sectors, both "rational" economic activity, science and technology. Tradition is not seen as an obstacle el Harakah Jurnal Budaya Islam Vol. 20 No. 2 Tahun 2018 to change only, but it is seen as an essential framework for creating creativity (Hamid, 2014).
Differences in customs or traditions between tribes are the characteristics of each culture or community. Traditions or customs that have been institutionalized can be called as culture or civilization. If this tradition is associated with the courtship tradition of Gorontalo tribe and Bugis-Makassar tribe, adaptation in many aspects is highly required. Marriage does not only establish a new relationship between a husband and wife, but also between two families. The background between the two families can be very different both in origin, life habits, education, social level, manners, languages, and so on. Therefore, the main condition that must be fulfilled in the marriage proposal is the willingness and the ability to adapt between two families (Sukmasari, 1986). The introduction and effort to know the character of each individual and his/her family is very important to establish a harmonious family later on.

An Overview of Gorontalo Indigenous Tribe and Makassar-Bugis
Gorontalo tribal ceremonies are pretty much maintained and held for generations. Traditional ceremonies related to marriage are called as pohutu moponika (Hamid, 2014). This ceremony has several stages of implementation, namely lenggota lo nika which is passed before, during and after the main event (aqad nikah). This stage of the marriage process is not made to prolong or complicate the marriage, but this solely aims at teaching the spouse to be that marriage requires efforts, struggle and hard work.
Bugis tribe has the concept of ade/adat (custom) and siri' (shame). The concept of ade is divided into four types, namely: ade maraja, which is used among the King or leaders; ade puraonro, which is a custom that has been used for a long time in the community for generations; ade assamaturukeng, the rules determined by agreement; and ade abiasang, custom that was used from the past, until now, and has been applied in the community (Mattulada, 1995). Ade is a manifestation of a flexible attitude towards various types of regulations in society.
Siri' (shame) gives a firm principle for Bugis behavior. According to Bugis proverb, only people who have siri' are considered as human. It is depicted by the following proverb: Naia tau de'e sirina, de lainna olokolo'e. Siri 'e mitu tariaseng tau. It means that anyone who does not have a siri ', then he is not human being, but only an animal. But nowadays, these customs were no el Harakah Jurnal Budaya Islam Vol. 20 No. 2 Tahun 2018 longer carried out due to the influence of Islamic culture that entered since the 1600s (Milar, 2009).
Siri' in Bugis society is very valuable. It is depicted by the following proverb: Siri paranreng, Nyawa pa lao, which means that if someone is being embarrassed, life is at stake. Siri' structure in Bugis culture has four categories, namely: siri' ripakasiri', which is related to personal self esteem and family dignity; siri 'mappakasiri', which is related to work ethic; siri 'tappelasiri', meaning the disturbed of shame for something; siri 'matesiri', which is related to faith (Milar, 2009).

Courtship Tradition of Gorontalo Tribe
Gorontalo tribe has a courtship tradition which has several stages (Jowono & Hutagalung, 2005). The first stage is Mongilalo. It is the first visit of the boy's parents to the girl's parents as the form of introduction from both families. It primarily aims to know the girl who will become their daughterin-law. The second stage is Molenilo/Mohabari. It is the visit of the boy's parents to the girl's parents in order to find out whether the girl who will be married already has a boyfriend/ husband to be or not. This visit was carried out secretly by the boy's parents. The third stage is lenggota modulohupa. It is a stage of discussion between the two families, talking about the amount of costs that must be prepared by the boy's parents to celebrate the marriage and to perform the traditional ceremonies. The fourth stage is baalanga. It is the delivery of decision related to the day when the boy will propose to the girl by the representatives of the boy's parents. The representatives consist of father, mother and a boy carrying a container (tapahula) wrapped in a white cloth containing betel leaf (sirih) and areca nut (pinang). The fifth stage is Motolobalango, an official forum attended by most of the relatives of both families which is witnessed by the government (Village Chief/Lurah), because at this event all the utterances might formally connects both families.
The conversation in this marriage proposal responds to a long rhyme in poetry (tujai-tujai). Poetry in Gorontalo culture is an expression of cultural literature which also implies local wisdom (Baruadi, 2012). At the end of the agreement, the spokesman of the boy's family reveales: "Ito wau watotiya, huhuluta utoliya, malodaadaatiya, topiduduto loiya, lo taa kohuuwaliya, humaya delo hutiya, buta'o didu motiya, tonulalo uyilo'iya, diila bolo mukiriya meyambula mohuliya". It means: "You and I, both as spokespersons, are now shaking hands, what has been said, both families, if the word is like rattan, even though it is split, it will not be separated, what has been discussed, keep it from breaking or splitting." The girl's family reply to the conversation: "Watotiya wao ito, ode tola ngobotu layito, made pilutu lo pito, lalango de molonito, tonulalo uyilulito, diila pomukiri ito." It means: "I and you are like a whole fish, cut with a knife, burnt and spread a tasty smell, what is revealed, God willing, is undeniable." When the discussion at the marriage proposal is over, the mothers who accompany the group of the boy's family through the spokesman ask permission to look at the bride (Sudibyo et al., 2013).

Courtship Tradition of Bugis-Makassar Tribe
The courtship tradition for Bugis-Makassar girls must fulfill three stages. First, mappese-pese or introduction, the boy and his relatives visit the girl's house carrying gifts and conveying the intention to bring the family together. If the response of the girl's family is good, then the time for madduta (proposing) is set. Second, massuro or madduta (proposing), the closest family and community leaders are invited to attend the procession. The boy's family invites the pabbicara (spokesperson) accompanied by a group of relatives. The groom to be and his parents may not participate in this procession. The number of the boy's family groups are around ten people. The girl's family prepares an appropriate dinner for the guests. In this event, the term "mamanu-manu" (a traditional poetry named pantun ayam) is known as the analogy of the marriage proposal process. In the process, a spokesman for the boy's family expresses the purpose of his arrival. The girl's family then submits the amount of "panai money" and sompa (gift). This gift can be in the form of land, gardens or gold given to the bride (being the full right of a woman, not to be taken even if the spouse are divorced later on). Third, mappenre dui/Mappetu-ada, this process has been considered as the part of the party, the girl's family has invited relatives and neighbors to witness the process of marriage proposal. At this event, all invited guests dress formally. The boy also invites a large group of people to show that they are a large family. Among the group, there are girls dressed in Bugis-Makasar customs carrying twelve bosara containing the bride's equipment such as gold jewelry, clothes, shoes, makeup (Hamid, 2014).
The custom history of Bugis Makassar people is indeed very long, in the texts of the literary works of La Galigo and Lontara' it is told about the beginnings of the Bugis civilization, the periods of kingdoms, culture and spirituality, customs and genealogy of noble families (Abdullah, 2008). This shows that this culture and customs must always be maintained as a form of inheritance from the ancestors of the Bugis people which is certainly full of positive values. Therefore, in the conception of marriage proposal to a girl, it is also necessary to consider that the proposal does not cause legal consequences and the families are free to terminate the agreement. In addition, the freedom to make a decision related to the marriage proposal is carried out in a good manner based on the guidelines and local customs, so that harmony and mutual respect are maintained. (Milar, 2009).

Proposing to a Girl in Islamic Perspective
Marriage which is done without fulfilling all of the above conditions is considered a controversial marriage, or a marriage that does not meet the requirements according to Gorontalo customs and Bugis-Makassar customs. In addition, there are still manners, traditional ceremonies and provisions of the Islamic religion that must be fulfilled in the procession of the marriage customs of these two tribes. Marriage rituals and ceremonies cannot be underestimated because all Gorontalo people or Bugis-Makassar consider that "marriage is something great", which is now believed to be only "once" for life (Milar, 2009).
The term fiance is not known in sharia terms. However, the closest form is "khitbah", which means to propose. According to the term, the meaning of khitbah or marriage proposal is a request or statement from a man to the woman to marry her, whether it is done directly by a man or represented by another person who is trusted based on the provisions of religion. The point is to ask to build up a new family. The khitbah itself must still be answered "yes" or "no". If the answer is "yes", then the woman becomes 'makhthubah', or the woman who has been officially proposed. According to Islamic law, she is not allowed to accept marriage proposal from other people. But the relationship between the spouse to be itself is still like a foreigner who is forbidden to have intercourse, khalwat, and etc.
In Islam, there is not the term "a half of halal", although a girl has been proposed. Even though ones are engaged or a man has proposed to a woman, they must wait until the marriage contract is completed to be allowed to have sexual intercourse. But more and more people are being permissive. It is forbidden to just keep silence, even less to encourage the unlawful couple to do things that have been forbidden by God (Al Bukhari, n.d.).
Before proposing a woman, especially before deciding the woman who will be proposed, a man should pay attention to several matters. This is not only useful for the marriage proposal process, but it can also prevent unwanted cases between the two families. Those matters are: First, knowing and seeing the bride to be. This is not an obligation, but it is recommended that there will not be slander or cases in the future. The term "seeing" refers to meeting the woman who will be married by sticking to the rules of shar'i (H.R. At-Tirmidzi. 3: 389, no. 1087;Ibnu Majjah. 1: 599, no. 1865).
Third, the woman has the right to choose (accept/reject) the man who proposes to her. At the time when a man proposing to her, the woman is asked and the answer is awaited (H.R. Muslim. 2: 1037Muslim. 2: , no. 1421Abu Dawud. 3: 438, no. 2098).
Fourth, do not propose to a woman who is in the iddah period. What is meant by the iddah period is the time that owned by a woman who is left dead or divorced by her husband. A man are not allowed to directly propose to a woman in iddah period, while giving a 'gesture' (or indirectly showing an intention to propose) is permissible (Q.S. Therefore, it is also prohibited to marry someone who does not maintain her honor, in which if her husband is with her, she cannot maintain her honor (Sabiq, 2008).

Educational Value in the Tradition of Motolobalango and Madduta
In Islam, marriage or nikah is a recommended sunnah for Muslims who have entered adulthood. If a man and a woman are going to get married, they must fulfill the terms and conditions of marriage such as the availability of guardians, witnesses, saying ijab qabul, giving dowry (mahar) to the woman who will be married. However, in the context of proposing to a woman, they should pass through several stages/process. The basic principle of marriage proposal is actually similar, yet the differences are in terms of the tradition or the customs held by each tribes, ethnicities and races.
The courtship tradition is an inseparable part of the marriage process. This paper explores the values of Islamic education contained in the courtship traditions of Gorontalo tribe and the Bugis-Makassar Tribe. Value means price, numerical value, potential, a lot of content, characteristics that are important to humanity (Marimba, 1989). Value means important qualities that are useful to humanity. Value becomes important because it has a quality that evokes an appreciation response (Tantowi, 2009). Values are practical and effective in human souls and actions and objectively institutionalized in society (Tantowi, 2009: 80). According to Gazalba (cited in Thoha, 1996: 29-33), value is something that is abstract and ideal. Value is not a concrete object, not a fact, not only a matter of right and wrong that demands empirical proof, but a desired and unwanted appreciation. Values can also be attached to something (a belief system) related to a meaningful subject. So value is something that is useful and meaningful for humans as a reference in behaving.
The values of Islamic education are the characteristics or things inherent in Islamic education that are used as the basis of humans to achieve the goals of human life that is to serve Allah SWT. These values need to be taught to the children since they are young because that is the right time to instill good habits in them Then, the value in Islamic education is something useful and meaningful for humans after undergoing a conscious and deliberate effort so that a person's behavior or society changes from certain circumstances to a better state.
The values of Islamic education contained in the courtship traditions of Gorontalo tribe and Bugis-Makassar tribe are tolerance and cooperation as well as social, economic and religious values as described follows:

Religious Value
Religious value is the highest spiritual value, absolute and eternal, and based on faith and belief of the human beings. An example of a religious value is someone who does his religious orders like prayer. The highest and absolute spiritual value comes from human trust. It means that a person should perform worship. Religious values are the values that we need to be aware of because they involve rules related to the relationship between humans and God. According to Suparyanta, et al (cited in Tjahyadi, 2004: 298), religious values are values related to religion. There are practical statements related to the piety of everyday life. Religious value is the concept of high appreciation given by community members to several key issues in a religious life that is sacred so it is considered as a guideline in behaving in that community.
According to Rachmat (2016, page), religious value is the value bounded to a particular religious teaching, concerning the relationship between humans and God. In other words, religious values are values that relate to one's trust in the Creator, this can be in the form of trust in things, or trust in God which includes: (a) descriptions of characters with certain physical characteristics or religious symbols; (b) quotes or propositions originating from the holy book; or (c) the depiction of the values of life based on universal religious life, such as honesty, kindness, etc.
In the courtship tradition of Motolobalongo for Gorontalo tribes and Madduta for Bugis-Makassar tribe, religious value is contained in the relation of the process of communicating with God regarding the noble personality that is metaphorically described in religious dogmas, rites, and myths. Through this religious value, humans relate to their Lord through worship, praise and prayer, loyalty and willingness to sacrifice for God. Therefore the tradition of Motolobalango and Modduta must be based on shar'i provisions. It could not be implemented in the courtship tradition of these two tribes if the spouse to be hold different religions. Considering that the tribes of Gorontalo and Bugis-Makassar are predominantly adherents of Islamic teachings, the bride to be must be a Muslimah (Q.S. Ar-Rum: 30) If the spouse to be hold the same religion, the customary marriage proposal process will be implemented. The bride to be must be selected by the boy's family, especially by investigating the genealogy, the character (behavior) of the woman being proposed. It aims at ensuring that the woman proposed will be able to give calmness and peace for the family (Q.S. Ar-Rum: 21).

Social Value
Socio-cultural change is a symptom of changing social structures and cultural patterns in a society. Socio-cultural change is a common symptom that occurs throughout time in every society. Changes that occur in accordance with the essence and nature of human beings who always want to make changes.
Islam in Gorontalo and Bugis (South Sulawesi) has actually developed rapidly because of the process of cultural acculturation. Integration of Islamic thought is always adapted to the peculiarities of local culture. In this context, the implementation always considers the socio-cultural environment wisely. This adaptation ability is social intelligence, owned by the scholars who are in charge of spreading Islam (Polontalo, 2002: 3).
For Gorontalo tribe, the social value in the courtship tradition is to integrate the structure of culture and traditional behavior. It means that the social value of the Motolobalango process is the ceremony delivered in the form el Harakah Jurnal Budaya Islam Vol. 20 No. 2 Tahun 2018 of poetry (tujai) between the boy's families and the girl's family. "Amenga" must be suffered by a family proposing in the Motolobalango tradition if the boy does not marry the girl or if the boy cancels the marriage. Similar to Bugis-Makassar tribe, the social value in Madduta custom is emphasized on the agreement of both families. If the marriage proposal process is accepted, it is taboo for those who propose to cancel the marriage. This may not happen because it can embarrass (siri') the family and relatives. Moduuta in Bugis language is considered as an absolute requirement in marriage proposal because it is part of the marriage customs of the Bugis-Makassar tribe (Pateda, 2000:192) Other social values in both Motolobalango and Madduta traditions are a form of understanding to the public that in the next few days, there will be marriage held in the area between the children of the A family and the children of the B family. They will hold aqad nikah and wedding receptions. Both parents of each spouse to be family must keep the results of the discussion as well as take care of the children who will get married.
The social value of marriage is solely to fortify noble morality and sociologically commendable behavior as well as to subdue views. The main purposes of marriage based on sharia are to fortify human dignity from dirty and cruel acts, which can degrade and undermine the noble dignity of human. Islam views marriage and family formation as an effective means to maintain young men and women from damage, and protect people from moral degradation (H.R. al-Bukhari: 1905, 5065, 5066).
The disclosure of the socio-cultural life of Gorontalo tribe and Bugis-Makassar tribe through traditional expressions is information that can provide a positive understanding toward Gorontalo and Bugis-Makassar ethnic. Praised qualities such as courageous, steadfast, honest, obedient worship, obedient, and so on are reflected in their expressions, especially in this tradition. Although the development of civilization is accelerating, it does not change the traditional structure that has been institutionalized in society.

Tolerance Value
Local wisdom is the basis for implementing Islamic values as well as resulting a harmonious relationship between tradition and tolerance. In other words, Gorontalo people continue to carry out cultural traditions while maintaining Islamic values (Tohopi, 2012). Gorontalo Islamic Community highly upholds justice and tolerance in religion. Islam strictly forbids wrongdoing with religion other than Islam by depriving them of their rights (QS. Al-Mumtahah: 8) Shaykh Abdurrahman bin Nashir As-Sa'diy rahimahullah interpreted, "Allah does not forbid you to do good, connect silaturrahmi, repay kindness, do justice to idolaters, both from your family and others. As long as they do not fight you because of religion and as long as they do not expel you from your country, then why do not you have a relationship with them because of having a relationship with them in these circumstances is not prohibited and perilous (Raehanul, 2016).

Cooperation Value
The procession of Motolobalango and Madduta as the series of courtship tradition in Gorontalo and Bugis-Makassar tribe certainly requires collaboration between the parents from those two families. Both events are considered as sacred events so that the involvement of many people are needed. Therefore, without being invited, the family must feel called to determine what is their obligation during the marriage proposal, aqad and wedding reception (Q.S. al Maidah: 3).

Economic Value
For Bugis-Makassar people, siri' (shame) is their soul, their self-esteem and their dignity. Therefore, to uphold and defend the siri' which is considered tainted or defiled by others, the Bugis-Makassar people are willing to sacrifice anything, including their most precious soul for the sake of upholding siri' in their lives (Hamid, 2014).
In this era, siri' is no longer interpreted as something valuable which must be maintained. In the practice, siri' is used as a legitimacy in carrying out anarchic, violent and irresponsible actions. Whereas siri' value is the sacred value of the Bugis community. Siri' culture must be maintained in the corridor of ade' (adat) and Islamic teachings But now there are also many values shifting that occur both in understanding and implementing the concepts and principles of ade' (adat) and the real culture of Bugis people. The siri' culture which should be held firm and upheld in positive values has been faded nowadays. In Bugis-Makassar society, siri' is the most valuable principle to defend and maintain.
Before the aqad or the inauguration of the husband and wife, bargaining is done about the amount of panaik money received. The amount is as requested. Panaik money (property and money for wedding reception) is different from mahar/dowry. Panaik money only exists in Bugis-Makassar tribe's marriage el Harakah Jurnal Budaya Islam Vol. 20 No. 2 Tahun 2018 customs. The higher the education, employment status or family status of the woman, the higher the panaik money paid. This tradition reflects that the qualifications of Bugis-Makassar women deserve to be highly rewarded. Panaik money is also a symbol of a struggle that must be done by a man to get a Bugis girl whom he adored. The negative side of the economic value of panaik money is that it often causes controversy.
In Gorontalo tribal people, the amount of dowry and the marriage expenses/cost are not determined by the status or predicate of the woman who will be married. But it is precisely based on the cost of aqad nikah and the wedding ceremony (walimatul qubra). It includes tunuhiyo (a special gift in the form of rice or beef). While dowry is usually only a prayer equipment, talaa money (IDR 250 coins) as a symbol of the cost and gold ring for the bride.
In the marriage carried out in the village, the costs are usually borne by the two families through dulohupa. It is in accordance with the traditional term wonu o piyohu to bisala dumbata ma sadi-sadia, hilawo mahilhiya, mamotimangalo duduhiya wau makarjandho u niati mo ponika wala'a (if good in speaking, the ability of both parties, the place is available, the heart becomes peaceful and the continuation of marriage is equally done by both families who will marry their children). Thus the economic value in Motolotabalango tradition for wedding ceremonies is very measurable (Q.S. al Isra: 26-27).

Conclusion
Motolobalango and Madduta-Mamanu-manu customs in the courtship tradition of Gorontalo tribe and Bugis-Makassar tribe are considered sacred even though such traditions do not exist in religious teachings. However, Islamic teachings require that if a man marries a woman, then propose to the woman, bring her dowry as a sign that she will be his partner of life. Islam teaches to prioritize syareat in proposing to a woman. In sum, if the courtship tradition of Gorontalo tribe and Bugis-Makassar tribe is carried out based on the values of education, it will represent tolerance and cooperation as well as religious, social, and economic values.