My Love, How I Wish You Were By My Side: Maintaining Intercontinental Long-Distance Relationships in Taiwan

Abstract

The purpose of this qualitative research was to explore how couples in Taiwan maintain intercontinental long-distance relationships. Four participants from a long-distance online forum were interviewed and asked to share their stories of long-distance dating. Their stories were then analyzed based on a narrative research method, and the following questions were explored with the participants: the impact of distance on the relationship, maintaining long-distance relationships, and reflections on long-distance dating. Findings suggested that distance had a large impact on couples, including thoughts of ending the relationship, loneliness, insecurity, and distrust. Themes the participants discussed included the importance of technology, face-to-face visitations, commitment, romantic beliefs, and diverse ways to maintain relationships. Participants also reported high expenses, time differences, and technological limitations as difficulties. Despite these difficulties, participants described creating meanings around the long-distance relationships by realizing the relationships were ultimately worthwhile, and for many couples, a necessary process to grow. Based on the results, the researcher proposes that therapists use narrative therapy in order to work with couples in long-distance relationships. By helping clients externalize the problem through opening up new possibilities for them to describe their difficulties, clients can begin to develop new ways of understanding themselves and others. A discussion with regards to how individuals in Chinese cultures manage conflicts in romantic relationships is included to remind therapists to be culturally sensitive when managing conflicts in collectivistic cultures, which have a tendency towards indirectness, unassertiveness, and lack of confrontation.