Selfobject in Psychoanalytic Couple and Family Therapy

Name of Concept

Selfobject in Couple and Family Therapy

Introduction

The concept of a selfobject was popularized by Kohut and Wolf, who described the term as the caregivers a child is surrounded by during development. Kohut wrote that childhood deficits in mirroring, twinship, and idealizing of parental selfobjects lead to deficits of the self in adulthood. It can be understood that an adult who may not have been properly mirrored by a parental object will seek a partner who reinforces his or her needs to feel special and loved unconditionally. A selfobject who provides healthy mirroring of a child’s needs to feel special and accepted increases the child’s sense of self and ability to function autonomously (Marmarosh and Mann 2014).

In childhood, parental selfobjects fulfill a child’s need to be affirmed and soothed. Therefore, a person who has not developed a self-regulatory style to self-affirm and self-soothe will rely on others to fulfill these needs. In problematic relationships,...