Abstract
While I have described how ageism and the fear of illness or death on the part of therapists may explain the hesitation of some clinicians in addressing the needs of some medically ill and older patients, the challenges that many patients bring to the therapeutic setting in talking about their internal and emotional experiences create unique difficulties for working with this population. In this chapter, I will revisit the concept of alexithymia; I will suggest that this idea can be expanded and applied to our work as clinicians, but without the pejorative connotations that are often associated with the dilemma of lacking the right words to describe feelings, or the assumption that illness is psychosomatic. I will challenge the idea that people with illness are unconsciously recruiting their disease, which is an idea espoused in some psychoanalytic writing. One of the most remarkable things about many of us as we age and/or become ill is that we constantly adapt. I think of people I have met who tell me they will definitely end their lives if they live to be 90 and are still in emotional or physical pain. Yet these women and men have greeted 90 and gone on to live for several more years. Keep in mind that the average life expectancy in 1920 was around 54 years of age. As I have described elsewhere, there is a sense of shock for many, and disappointment for some, about living such a long life and then having the last part of it be with a compromised body (Greenberg, 2012). Most people I have treated figure out ways to adapt to the inherent shock and at times dismay of living such a long life. I will discuss the research on posttraumatic growth and how this body of evidence shows us that some people can fight through the frightening and traumatic aspects of illness and go on to lead better, more gratifying lives. I will contextualize the hope and grief our patients face, with a focus on the resilience of the elderly and medical patients, as these individuals often want to learn ways they can expand their emotional landscape towards a more nuanced and developed internal dialogue. And indeed, it is rarely the case that I meet an elder person, even who is severely depressed, who does not eventually see the benefit of how better relationships can make life more meaningful. The quest for meaning, closeness, and insight in these patients implores us to continue to find ways to connect with and help this growing population.
Emotion: The human spirit experienced in the flesh
Jerry Tucker
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Greenberg, T.M. (2016). Hope and Grief: The Introduction of an Emotional Language. In: Psychodynamic Perspectives on Aging and Illness. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-24289-7_10
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